Yahoo Lifestyle Mel B Details Alleged 'Coercive Control and Manipulation' in Past Relationship That Made Her Think She Was 'Going Mad'
"[Abusers] find you when you're either at your most vulnerable or when you're at your happiest," Brown said on the 'Mad, Sad and Bad' podcast
Melanie “Mel B” Brown is opening up about alleged "coercive control and manipulation" she experienced by an ex-partner.
The Spice Girls musician, who previously detailed her alleged experiences of abuse in her 2018 memoir, Brutally Honest, said she felt like she was "going mad" in a new interview during the Monday, Feb. 3 episode of the Mad, Sad Bad podcast.
“I would think, ‘I know where I've put my diamond earrings, I know that they're there at the side of the bed’, but he would move them then blame me, and then it would be, 'You're irresponsible,'" Brown told host Paloma Faith.
She continued, “Oh look, I found them in the fridge and I'd question myself, maybe I did put them in the fridge. A lot of that went on and I literally felt like I was going mad and I would double check myself... almost like you were living in a fantasy world where I know that that wasn't there before and I know where my coffee mug is.”
Brown explained that she had to learn to trust herself again. "There's so much self-doubt because for 10 years you've been made to feel whatever you thought was completely the opposite," she said.
Brown said that abusers "find you."
“They find you when you're either at your most vulnerable or when you’re at your happiest. It's a challenge to them to see how they can get you and how they can then start to manipulate and it doesn’t happen all at once," she explained.
Brown continued: “They love-bomb you, they show up like they're your knight in shining armor and then slowly over time they show their true colors.”
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One of the red flags she wasn't able to see at the time was a feeling of not being "safe."
“I talk with a lot of survivors and they all do the same things,” said Brown. “You just think, how did this happen to me? 10 years, where did that go? I had to build myself back up and I was like, ‘That's so sad that happened to me’.”
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.
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