Yahoo Lifestyle "It Wasn't Commonplace 20 Years Ago": People Are Sharing What They Dislike About Modern Dating, And They're 100% Valid
Many things aren't the same thanks to changes in technology, social norms, and social media — including dating. Recently, Redditor u/wiseguy887 asked the women of the Reddit Community to share what they miss about "old-school" dating, and the responses were totally valid. Here's what women miss about dating "back then" versus dating now:
1."I was talking about this with a friend a few weeks ago. Before dating apps were popular, at least where we were, it was common that being exclusive was the standard from the start. You didn't have to negotiate a 'contract' or establish a relationship and get the 'agreement' notarized or something if you liked someone enough to keep them around."
2."I think it's easier for anyone to block or ghost someone, which is such a cowardly thing to do."
3."That flirting, seduction, and even hooking up were art forms. They required skill, attention, and the participation of both parties in the field (so it was more socially acceptable to be called players). Because there was no social media, going out was more encouraged. Now, it's just swipe, match, meet, have sex, ghost, and repeat. How boring."
4."These days, I feel the need to explicitly tell men that I don't want to be strangled, spat on, slapped, humiliated, or photographed during sex. I say this because these activities seem so commonplace now, but they weren't 20 years ago."
5."I miss when men were comfortable with being gentlemen."
6."I feel like back then, one would date a person because they were interested in them specifically and were in it for the personality and looks. Now, with the dating apps, I feel like it's easier to 'browse' for candidates, and that people date for the sake of dating and finding someone who fits the role of 'partner' rather than because they have a crush."
7."When dates were cheaper! It used to be $20 for two movie tickets and $15 for two burritos."
8."Uninterrupted conversation. People used to actually TALK everything out, whether it be where you're going out for dinner, who's paying, etc. Nowadays, people just vent everything out on social media instead of actually addressing it with the people involved."
9."I remember when the only time people asked about 'body count' was when discussing serial killers or scary movies. I'm not saying that past relationships and hookups were never talked about, but the judgment sure wasn't the same. I also know we never used the term 'body count.' Every time I see a post on social media about that term, my mind still goes to 'murder mode' before remembering that's not what people mean anymore."
10."You didn't have to worry about unsolicited dick pics back then."
11."When meeting your date for the first time was actually the first time — not after 10,000 texts and 300 hours of social media conversations. It was all real; the excitement was real. The first look was real."
12."The effort to actually get to know the other person. It's so easy to just swipe for the next option with online dating. If you find ONE thing you don't like, you can just get back on the app. Also, everyone wants to keep their options open nowadays, so it's almost always multiple dates with multiple people until one eventually clicks. People also aren't willing to grow and learn together anymore. They're not willing to date someone who is seemingly still trying to figure out life (career, living on their own, etc.). Like, it's 2024. Times are hard; have a little grace."
13."I miss hearing the interesting stories about how people met. Now, every couple just met on dating apps."
14."There was no such thing as 'defining the relationship.' If you hung out together, went on dates, and were intimate, being exclusive was kind of implied."
15."I miss having opportunities to get to know someone slowly over time, like in environments like school and work (I work from home nowadays). I miss the idea of building attraction gradually before escalating things. Online dating holds almost no mystery or excitement for me, and it also doesn't give me as much time to develop sexual attraction before having sex."
16.Lastly: "Old-school texting. You had to make those 160 characters count."
As someone who can relate, the dating app hate is SO REAL. What do you miss about "old-school" dating? What do you not like about modern dating? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your thoughts using this form!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
