'Crazy' financial decision Gen Z couples make that older people don't get: 'Change my mind'

Once upon a time, two people met and fell in love. They decided to celebrate this by getting married and, in doing so, tacitly agreed to pool all of their money into one account and never split the cost of anything or have separate funds ever again.

They stood by this huge financial decision until death parted them and that was their happily ever after. Or was it?

While couples having a single bank account between them and pooling their respective salaries may have once been the "done" thing, in 2024, married life looks a little different for several reasons. Although many tenets of holy matrimony have remained unchanged (don't cheat on your spouse, for example), the way we think about money in relationships has evolved.

"In some ways, the cost of living crisis has fast-tracked a lot of conversations couples have been forced to have," Personal Finance Expert and Editor at Finder, Sarah Megginson, told Yahoo Lifestyle.

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"In modern relationships, many people choose to have joint accounts for bills and shared expenses and separate accounts for personal spending. Some split the bills proportionally – the higher income earner covers 60% vs their partner’s 40%, for instance."

While this may be the way plenty of couples choose to handle money talk in their partnerships, a recent thread on X shed light on just how many people still think that combining everything is the only way to go.

Should my partner and I have a joint bank account?

In a post that has been viewed almost 20 million times, one user wrote, "It’s crazy watching people debate whether they’ll split bills 50-50 when they’re married, or split proportional to income. What happened to two becoming one and married couples pooling their salaries into a shared household income? Is this no longer the norm?"

"Married couples who keep their money separate are just preparing for likely divorce. Change my mind," was one of more than 8000 replies.

"I don’t think marriage means what it used to. I know couples who have children together who won’t marry because they don’t want the commitment - seriously, is there any bigger commitment than making a child???," was another.

"I make 2x what my wife makes and we just pool everything together. I can’t imagine us sending money back and forth to each other to cover bills or like food or something. Seems dumb," someone else shared.

"There is nothing more bizarre to me when I see a couple splitting a bill," another person added.

"If you aren’t pooling resources you’ve just got a roommate you f*ck on occasion," was yet another response.

"I mean personally I think it’s however people want to decide to handle it, just as long as they stick with it and come to some sort of agreement up front. But I also think you’re right, the pooled income model is not as universal as it once was," someone else said.

Although some people said they had separate accounts from their partners and had never had an issue, the overwhelming response was that a married couple should combine everything without exception.

But what if you have good reason for wanting to hold onto the notion of "yours and mine" instead of diving headfirst into "ours"?

What are the downsides to having a joint bank account?

"I have a friend who went through a really painful and expensive divorce after her husband had an affair," Sarah explained to Yahoo Lifestyle. "Today, 15 years later, she’s happily remarried and she and her husband have completely separate finances. Her experiences have proven to her that she needs to put those boundaries in place, and he’s fine with that arrangement, so it works for them.

"Which is the point, really – everyone should ideally have the freedom to choose what works for them. There are benefits and drawbacks of joining your finances, just as there are pros and cons to having separate money. The ideal arrangement for you and your partner should be one that you’re both most comfortable with."

Of course, figuring out what you are most comfortable with can only come from having occasionally uncomfortable conversations.

"I don’t believe there’s a right or wrong way to manage your money as a couple, but I think it’s so important that couples have open and honest conversations about what you’re planning to do," Sarah says. "I’ve heard of some genuine horror stories and heartbreaking situations, all because assumptions were made and clear conversations weren’t had. In one case, a hidden gambling addiction had drained their savings account, and a wife didn’t know until their house was at risk of repossession! She totally trusted her partner to run the finances in their family, and I think that’s the riskiest option of them all."

When should you talk about money with your partner?

Regardless of what you decide to do with your money once you are married (if you choose to get married), having frank conversations about what you each expect and what your financial habits are like is crucial.

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"I think as soon as you’re starting to make joint financial decisions – such as moving in together and signing a joint lease, or spending a small sum of money on an overseas holiday – you should be chatting about your money goals and plans as a couple," Sarah says. "Many people struggle to manage their money or they make poor decisions, simply because they don’t know any better or they've developed some bad habits. The more conversations we have and the more light we shine on the topic, the more you can learn and step towards healthier habits."

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