Why one mother bought her teen daughter a vibrator

A New Zealand business founder and mum of two has shared that she gifted her teen daughter with her first vibrator as a way to empower her and open up the discourse around sexual pleasure.

Taslim Parsons is a Wellington businesswoman who took her passion for all things sexual wellness to found and build the sex toy brand Share Satisfaction, which has become New Zealand's first luxury adult toy brand.

Passionate about making anything and everything relating to sex and sexual wellness an empowering and open conversation, Taslim shared she gifted her teenage daughter with her first vibrator at the age of 17, in a move that may surprise (and hopefully inspire) some parents.

“When my 17-year-old daughter was going through a difficult period, as her mum, I instantly wanted to help. One thing I had researched was endorphins and how teenagers often act out to seek pleasure from dopamine hits,” Taslim told Yahoo Lifestyle.

“I was a scared mum who wanted to ensure her child was happy and safe, so I acted by gifting her a vibrator. In hindsight, my approach wasn't ideal. I should have had a more in-depth chat on the reasoning behind the vibrator rather than after the fact."

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However, through her learnings, Taslim highlighted the importance of parents empowering their teenagers and being open with them when it comes to the 'taboo' of discussing things like sex and pleasure.

"For parents to empower their teenagers with sexual knowledge and confidence early on, paves the way for a future where sexual wellbeing is a natural aspect of their self-love and personal empowerment," Taslim said.

She also noted there's a big difference in how teen boys and girls can be approached or taught about sex.

“Everyone assumes that teenage boys masturbate, but for girls, it's a big no-no," she said. “Not to get too deep, but this can be traced back to the patriarchal way of society and the interconnections with colonisation taking away a lot of sexuality particularly, from women of colour."

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“I will always encourage open conversation about sex and sexual pleasure. My children are different ages - and different people - so my approach will inevitably be different. I would say that each teen will have a different experience of sexuality, so parents should try to be sensitive to what their kids need from them in terms of information sharing and emotional support.

“It's not just for daughters. All our young people need to be given the opportunity to explore their bodies and their pleasure."

As for parents who want to open the dialogue around sex and pleasure with their own children, Taslim had this to say:

“Be open to the conversation, ask them how they’d like to progress it. And remember not to let your own bias or viewpoint cloud theirs.”

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