Is this sex and intimacy course the secret to the best sex of your life?

Give up the pressure for the pleasure.

When it comes to the ins and outs of the sex lives of couples, it turns out that most of them are facing the same dilemma in the bedroom.

“Different desires are one of the most common reasons that I see couples,” sex counsellor Alice Child told Yahoo Lifestyle. “Whether that’s different sex drives and frequency of sex that they’re wanting, or different types of sex that they enjoy, or not being able to find their happy middle ground in some way when it comes to sex.”

These are all pretty tricky topics to talk about, but not tabling mismatched libidos can end in “gridlock” for a relationship, according to the expert.

A couple kissing.
It's time to bring back moments of intimacy into your relationship. Source: Getty Images

“Over the years, it can become a really big topic of difficulty filled with pressure, fear of rejection, or fear of having to do something that you don't want to do out of not wanting to let your partner down,” Alice explained.

“So couples stop having little moments of intimacy and connection in their day, like beautiful make out sessions and naked cuddling and things like that, because they associate those with initiating sex.

“And then no wonder it gets worse and worse because pressure is never sexy.”


Getting back to the fun

In relationships where the topic of intercourse has become charged with pressure, Alice said it’s important to remove sex from the equation and separate out intimacy and connection from initiating penetration.

For couples struggling to connect, it’s about getting back to curiosity and a “beginner’s mindset”.

Easier said than done, which is where online courses come in. Except Alice wasn’t too impressed with what was already out there.

“A lot of them really focus on the learning and not so much on the fun,” she said. “There was nothing out there that I wanted to send my couples to go and do, because I knew that they just needed more fun and more playfulness.”

Alice Child looking at the camera (left) and at her bracelet (right).
Alice Child helps individuals and couples to improve their intimacy, deepen their connection and 'navigate the inevitable sex & intimacy challenges that happen in life'. Source: Alice Child

Enhancing your love life

Enter, Pillow Play — Alice’s brand spanking new sex and intimacy game for couples, designed to deepen connection, chemistry and communication.

“It's essentially an online course for couples to watch and play at home to help them bring in more playfulness and try new things in the bedroom, and at the same time learn really essential skills when it comes to things like sexual communication, touch, erogenous zones and orgasm, and all things like that,” the sexologist explained.

“Yes, it’s educational, and yes, you’ll learn a lot along the way, but first and foremost it's about getting back to pleasure instead of pressure and it’s supposed to be really fun.”

Across three levels — Desires and Boundaries, Touch and Bodies, and Erotic Exploring — 15 games, ranging from mild to seriously spicy, and over 30 education videos and worksheets will encourage couples to delve into different aspects of human sexuality, including spirituality, tantra, communication, touch, and massage.

The course will be launched on Valentine’s Day and help Alice to reach more people than she could see each week.

“For couples who've experienced mismatched libidos, these games will help them reconnect and increase their chemistry, passion and closeness without always feeling the pressure to have sex,” Alice said. “The games have been designed to help trigger that desire, arousal and attraction, rather than feeling like you have to force it on yourself.”


But it’s also for those who just want to add some heat under the sheets.

“The course isn’t just for people who feel like they need to fix something in their sex life,” the sex counsellor explained. “It’s also for people who already have a wonderful sex life but they’re just looking for more ways to explore and spice up date night.

“Over the years in a relationship, even if the sex is brilliant, often people are ready to try some new things and see what else is out there.

“This is about finding new ideas to enhance what they’ve already got and make it even better.”

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