Trisha Paytas Reveals the Best Thing That Came Out of Getting 'Canceled'

Trisha Paytas is grateful for the 'learning experience' she gained from being canceled online.

Before she made her Broadway debut in Trisha Paytas' Big Broadway Dream on Feb. 3, the 36-year-old internet personality spoke to TimeOut New York on Jan. 31 about the many cancellations she experienced creating online content and the lessons she took from those moments.

"Cancellation is rough, but I always took it as a learning experience," Paytas explained. "The internet was trying to help me be a better person but I couldn't see it. It took years to self-reflect and take constructive criticism as that and not be so defensive."

Paytas, who is known for her controversial content online, added that she's now stepped away from that online persona and said she "had to be a better person when my first daughter [Malibu] was born in 2022.”

Related: Trisha Paytas Knows Her Broadway Dreams Were 'Delusional.' She Made Them Come True Anyway (Exclusive)

She now does her best to "[listen] to my audience" and learn "what I can do better" and "where my views could be misled."

"I think deep down, people want people to be better [and they] are so willing to forgive, if you're willing to listen," she continued. "I suffered a lot with my mental illness, addiction, need for attention, sadness, depression, spiraling — it was ugly to put out there at the time, and very scary to be judged upon — but I'm happy to show that change is possible and a happily ever after is possible even if you don't think it is."

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Trisha Paytas' Big Broadway Dream premiered on Feb. 3 at the St. James Theatre in New York and featured Paytas with special appearances from other stars like Sutton Foster, Ben Platt and Rachel Zegler.

The Just Trish podcast host spoke to PEOPLE about the debut in December 2024 and recalled her desire "to be in [the Broadway] world" since she was a child. She made productions of her favorite musical numbers to help reach that goal and said "I know it sounds so delusional, [but] what I have is passion. Maybe not talent, but I have a lot of passion."

Related: Trisha Paytas and Daughter Malibu Barbie Twin in Wicked Gowns: 'New Generation of Glindas'

She also opened up about rehabilitating her image and becoming a better version of herself, admitting that she is "so happy to be in a place where I can regulate my emotions."

"I owe a lot of it to obviously my daughter," she explained. "When she was born, I was just like, 'I don't want to be a bad person for her. I don't want to embarrass her.' "

"I just thought negative attention was the only way I would get attention and money and 'fame,' " she continued. "And I've never had more success [than] now — by being myself, not trolling, not pissing people off, and just being myself."

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