Nearly naked dressing: Sartorial self-expression or pretty inconsiderate?

Melissa Hoyer has some thoughts on the butt crack and all-out cleavage trends that seem to be going mainstream.

Fashion trends, whether good, bad or butt ugly are something many of us might despise. But where would we be without them? Wearing clothes is something we all interpret in our very own way but some of the trends we may have poo-poo-ed years ago have all become fairly commonplace (I’m looking at you cleavage, side boob and thigh-high splits. You’ve all turned into a cheap shirt and you’re everywhere!)

Sure, these fashion trends may have once been deemed risque by some fashion pundits, but if you take a look now, tons of skin, loads of major cleavage and stacks of butt crack are deemed normal dressing. Which is all fine - you do you and I’ll do me and all that. But I can’t help but feel for fellow humans - the hospo staff, the sales associates, the colleagues, the flight attendants, the peers, the friends - who just don’t know where to look as soon as a mountain of cleavage voom-vooms into the room.

 loads of major cleavage and stacks of butt crack are deemed normal dressing. Credit: Getty Images/IG/noahcyrus
loads of major cleavage and stacks of butt crack are deemed normal dressing. Credit: Getty Images/IG/noahcyrus

This thought has crossed my mind even more so of late, particularly as the let’s-wear-next-to-nothing trend has seriously entered the style lexicon.

I’m talking about the major bum crack vibe. The Bianca Censori-inspired wear-next-to-nothing vibe.


Fashion and how we wear it can be the most bloody judgemental part of pop culture. But we’re not about being the judgey-judgey style police, as what someone else wears has absolutely no bearing on the lives of you and me.

However, taking this a step further, there are some pretty inconsiderate fashion trends around that need to be called out purely because they could make those who come into eye contact with them a tad uncomfortable.

Perhaps we’ve just had so many years of risque fashion we’ve become a little desensitised to style indecency.

Katy Perry Credit: Getty Images
Katy Perry has caught the derriere disease. Credit: Getty Images

Alexander McQueen’s seriously badass bumster jeans of the late 90s started to take us on an even more rad tangent but of late, headlines are being given to the plethora of people wearing hardly any clothes. Full frontals are being played out in full view of all of us and thanks to the pace of publication we’re seeing them in real time.

We’re about to pop on our jim-jams and boom! Our news feeds and Insta scrolls churn out a pic of a celebrity provocateur wearing a butt-cleavage frock out to dinner, which can be kinda hard to mentally reconcile as we slump into sleep.

It was only earlier this year that adult film actor Valeria Atriedes was at the Logies of the porn industry - the AVNs - and she wore a long-sleeved, high-neck dress gown. OK. That sounds lovely.

But one quick twirl and the back of the dress plunged... underneath her cheeks, officially making the bum crack vibe a hot red carpet commodity. Just this year, these same bum cracks have made their way to the red carpets of Paris Fashion Week with Noah Cyrus wearing a pair of leggings that gave a whole new meaning to low-rise while even Katy Perry caught the derriere disease, wearing a corset and skirt that laced up - over her butt — leaving her black thong fully on show.

Valeria Atriedes is officially making the bum crack vibe a hot red carpet commodity IG: house.of.perception
Valeria Atriedes IG: house.of.perception

A quick bum crack Google search will furnish you with the chief bot-bot protagonists. You’re welcome.

But quite seriously with SO much flesh being played out in the public realm, it does beg the question, where the hell am I supposed to look?

I was at a recent beauty "maintenance" and my technician had had a very liberal breast enhancement that was beaming right into my eye-line. For an hour.

Even trying to look busy with my Spotify playlist didn’t quite do it as my eyes would divert straight in front of me and I know that every time I looked ahead, to the aforementioned breasts, we kinda caught each other's eye. I was so embarrassed. My girl certainly wasn’t but was it my place to say something? I don’t know. I just sat there and counted down the minutes before our time was up.


I’m sure you’ve seen Kanye West’s wife, architect Bianca Censori, forgoing the pleasure of undies and bras totally, opting for a nearly nude run to the Cheesecake Factory and to various eating establishments in LA. I don’t know, but I really hope the cheesecake and smart LA eatery hospo workers - unlike me - just know where to look.

Bianca Censori likes to forgo the pleasure of undies and bras. Credit: Arnold Jerocki/Getty Images
Bianca Censori Credit: Arnold Jerocki/Getty Images

Let’s just pray that total nudity isn’t the next cab off the pop culture style rank. That would absolutely dial up the awkward factor to full blast.

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