MasterChef star opens up about heartbreaking struggle off-camera: 'Scared'

Trigger warning: This article contains content around eating disorders that some readers may find confronting

MasterChef’s Savindri ‘Sav’ Perera has shared a candid post on social media opening up about her personal struggles before competing on the reality show. The 30-year-old banking consultant, who moved from Sri Lanka to Adelaide at age 18, has received quite a mixed response from fans throughout the season simply because of her sassy and strong-willed personality and dry sense of humour.

Taking to her Instagram Stories on Wednesday, Sav addressed some of the negative comments she’s seen online and spoke about her battle with mental health over the years. She revealed that she previously suffered from severe body dysmorphia, a condition that affects how you see and feel about your body.

“One of the hardest battles I had to overcome before competing was severe body dysmorphia,” she wrote. “The amount of absolute hatred I have for myself after a lifetime of being made to feel ugly for being fat was immense. Yet every morning I put my makeup on & show up, because my desire to compete is bigger than my hatred for my appearance.”

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Sav, who is one of the remaining seven contestants competing for the title, admitted that she was “scared” to appear on MasterChef because she felt like she wasn’t “skinny and pretty like TV personalities usually are”.

“I am blunt and direct and I knew the audience will take problem with it,” she remarked. “It is sometimes really really hard for me to watch myself purely because of the intense fatphobia I have towards myself. The hatred I have towards my body at times is awful.

“Years of therapy later and it's better but it's not easy. That self loathing manifested in a way that led to me convincing myself that I don't deserve to take up space in this world.”

Sav's message to her followers

Sav went on to share that she’s seen plenty of negative comments online saying she has an “awful” voice and should smile more often, and she wanted to speak about her experience with body dysmorphia because it’s “not unique”.

"Whilst I don't engage with these things, I still see it and while I can ignore it on most days, after a while I wonder if it's actually true when I know it isn’t,” she continued.

“There are many people, women, men, just people, who feel like they cannot take up space because they don't fit society's demands of them. I hope you know, you should do what you wanna do anyway. I hope it doesn't stop you from going where you want to go.”

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After being flooded with supportive messages from people who had resonated with her vulnerability, Sav shared a follow-up post on Thursday morning saying she felt “very grateful to be part of the conversation of representation”.

“I knew that representing myself as I am was going to be important for me for personal integrity, but to see the impact of me just being completely myself - beyond what I could have ever imagined. Thank you. Truly,” she wrote.

For confidential support about eating disorders and body image issues you can free call the Butterfly Foundation National Hotline Support for Eating Disorders and Body Image Issues | Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673.

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