The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (June 8-14)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “i think it’s so brave that you’re here”
— trash jones (@jzux) June 8, 2024
nurse drawing my blood yelled "we have a fainter" like really loud before anything happened which bothered me but then i did faint so it was like okay nevermind fair
— Cass (@_casscore) June 10, 2024
wish I was one of those weirdos who likes to go for a run when they’re upset
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) June 9, 2024
hey wanna grab a drink tonight? yeah at the bar where they charge $18 for a cocktail? and then we can get two drinks and spend $36 each?
— Isabella (@lev__glebovich) June 11, 2024
Hey babe, are you adobe reader because you are not responding
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 12, 2024
one day you’re a hot, fun 20-something and before you know it you’re a hot, fun 30-something with an interest in birds
— nikita richardson (@nikitarbk) June 12, 2024
got a photo update from my dogsitter & instead of looking at my dog, i can only look at this DIVA on the left WHO IS SHE pic.twitter.com/X8xcvVKjnT
— sarah rose etter (@sarahroseetter) June 12, 2024
They delivered 70 boxes of snacks and water for our summer program. I unloaded 3 hand trucks in like 15 min. The delivery guy gonna say “I was gonna ask for your number but you too strong and independent I’d rather just tell you we’re hiring” 😭😭😭😭😭
— HER. (@Adore_Shay) June 12, 2024
The nurse said she needed some urine to test for potassium. "K," I said. Silence. "I bet everyone makes that joke," I say. She's like "In 15 years of nursing not one person has made that joke"
— sarah (@sarahradz_) June 12, 2024
having to tell people your social battery is drained feels so embarrassing like sorry I’m really just tired because I spent too much time with people who love me and are fun and now I need to be alone
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) June 10, 2024
today I was vaping and a man said "is that good for the baby" so I guess I'm throwing this high waisted dress in the garbage
— Emily Gould (@EmilyGouldNYmag) June 13, 2024
Apple finally adding a “send later” option for iMessage is a remarkable W for people like me who exclusively think of messages I need to send at 3:30 AM
— Zara Rahim (@ZaraRahim) June 10, 2024
Irish representation matters https://t.co/T8TcbviErp
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) June 10, 2024
"shipping label created" is a notification I DO NOT NEED!!!!
— Ali B (@wtflanksteak) June 10, 2024
immigration officer to me at JFK today: Why do you live in America?
me to immigration officer: Frankly that's a question I ask myself every day
Immigration officer (straight face): No I don’t mean existentially, I’m asking what you do here in the United States
me: oh— Zahra Hankir (@ZahraHankir) June 11, 2024
My father (68, white, straight, male): "Hey, can you explain this bear in the woods thing to me? I don't understand. Obviously, women would rather meet a random gay man in the woods. But why does he have to be a bear?"
— Maggie Koerth (@maggiekb1) June 11, 2024
i do not feel shame about liking your instagram story 53 seconds after you posted it. that is when i saw it and i liked it.
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) June 11, 2024
having a sister in the medical field is so funny. she’s like “today i delivered a baby and assisted in a surgery that will fundamentally improve someone’s quality of life” and i’m like “i made a spreadsheet worse than how i found it”
— chase (@_chase_____) June 8, 2024
The Law of Four Loko states that Four Loko can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be converted from one form of Four Loko to another https://t.co/WmO9UIvxx7
— Heben Nigatu (@hebennigatu) June 12, 2024
Believe Women https://t.co/EoXAHPSwWU
— Sydney (@sydneyelainexo) June 13, 2024
very humbling experience recently when a friend I hadn’t seen in about 10 years said a few hours into us hanging out, “so you’re still dipping into random accents like all the time huh”
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) June 11, 2024
Recipe: don't overcrowd the pan
Me: *about to overcrowd the pan* pic.twitter.com/iecM7uPhQs— meghan (@deloisivete) June 9, 2024
sorry can't I'm very busy (lying on my bed for the next hour wrapped in a towel and scrolling on my phone until I inevitably drop it on my face)
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) June 10, 2024
I don’t have a resting bitch face I have an active bitch face.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 11, 2024
One of those leashes parents use for kids but it’s to make sure my friend doesn’t leave me alone at a party
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 13, 2024
it hurts my feelings when i accidentally scare a bird away. why can’t it sense my whimsy
— clare (@sadderlizards) June 10, 2024