Yahoo Lifestyle Women Are The Funniest Creatures On The Planet, And These 28 Tweets Prove It
The Olympics are officially over, and all the patriotism has completely drained out of my body.
hard to go back to regular tv after two weeks of the olympics. "ooo look at me i'm a prestige hbo show" you don't even demonstrate one single feat of strength and agility for your country
— katie (@katefeetie) August 11, 2024
But you know what hasn't? Laughing at the funniest tweets by women this week:
(Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!)
1.
I love when a period arrives just on time, as expected. Very demure, very mindful, very cutesy!
— Thembi Matroshe (@ThembiMatroshe) August 13, 2024
2.
I love being a woman in male dominated fields (commitment issues) (avoidant) (frequent sayer of “why do u turn everything into a big deal. relax”)
— spidey (@imaliabilitty) August 12, 2024
3.
when my hair looks like shit please keep in mind that’s happening in a feminist way
— jo (@cowboypraxis) August 12, 2024
4.
I don’t have an inner child. I have an inner old person that gets angry at loud noises and makes decisions based on the availability of food and a comfortable place to sit down.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 12, 2024
5.
autumn people are so annoying. there's still plenty of summer left. your pumpkin ass has to wait
— gabriela 📚 (@chaimartini) August 13, 2024
6.
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to stun in new photo
— elizabeth 🪢 (@OneFeIISwoop) August 12, 2024
7.
I’m really rawdogging this writing shit. No mfa, no agent, no connections. just my notes app, mental illness, and a dream
— Rosalind Margulies ★☆ (@rothalind) August 12, 2024
8.
i love when my cat pushes open the bathroom door the same way a cowboy would bust open the doors to a saloon
— xanax in cinnabon (ali) (@xanabon) August 31, 2022
9.
No one:Burglars in the sims: pic.twitter.com/KedSmjXR6p
— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) August 11, 2024
Twitter: @CaraLisette / NBC
10.
what happened last night nutritionally can never happen again
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) August 11, 2024
11.
The person who decided that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of hell that the devil only yells down there.
— Brown Butter Evangelist 🍉 (@krysilove) August 12, 2024
12.
Got stuck in a long line at the store but at least I got to hear the guy behind me tell his friend all about his goats escaping and coming back pregnant
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 11, 2024
13.
i get so offended when guys with girlfriends flirt with me. like side chick??? I'm giving side chick vibes???
— Oreos ♡ (@oreosBaby__) August 11, 2024
14.
I hope this email finds you, Carmen Sandiego
— JodingersCat-astrophe (@JMoneySlimer) August 11, 2024
15.
therapy isn’t enough I need to see Imane Khelif win 100 lawsuits against transphobes
— 🧃you or someone you love🧃 (@hannahmsays) August 12, 2024
16.
Can’t believe some people buy 6 packs of energy drinks. You can’t plan to drink that shit, it should be a bad impulse decision at the gas station
— E👒 (@Emmys) August 11, 2024
17.
I prefer my mornings to be slow & quiet. I want my day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me
— ♡ bri ♡ (@blazinwithbri) August 11, 2024
18.
when you’re single you have to get like 37,000 steps on a Sunday to replace the feeling of love
— 0 days without yanking it to lana del rey (@glutenfreeperc) August 11, 2024
19.
delaware https://t.co/TjbQ3zy9Rq
— Lani (@missbandssss) August 8, 2024
20.
when i was a small child i didnt realize most of adulthood is putting on a stupid outfit and going to the store and hoping you dont run into anyone you know
— Kylie Cheung (@kylietcheung) August 8, 2024
21.
the rugrats on the flight home: https://t.co/3UVf3iBCwj
— Beth McColl (@imbethmccoll) August 12, 2024
22.
i wouldn’t be single if some of you men studied the way gomez addams treats a woman.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) August 10, 2024
23.
you see how i exited your life quietly? very demure very cute very mindful
— Chy (@5stvrchy) August 12, 2024
24.
petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) August 10, 2024
25.
hate when u go for ice cream with someone and they get a healthy flavour. like bish i thought we were getting oreo fudge cholesterol moose trail
— van haley (@vanhaley_yt) August 12, 2024
26.
“idk i’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it
— Jenni (@hashjenni) August 11, 2024
27.
I've seen the greatest minds of my generation ruined by white boyfriends
— amy (@entombings) August 11, 2024
28.
unfortunately i text all my friends like i'm their desperate ex. hey i miss you. i thought about you while we weren't talking. what are you up to. can we spend time together soon.
— bao (@cozybao) August 11, 2024
29.
i’m not spending any money right now unless it’s an emergency, like if the culver’s flavor of the day is really good
— donner party bus (@ok_alriight) August 11, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
24 Funny Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Shed A Single Tear
