Yahoo Lifestyle Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ Goodbye Note to Family Had ‘Teardrops on the Page,’ Reveals Allison Holker
When Stephen “tWitch” Boss died by suicide at age 40 on Dec. 13, 2022, he left a goodbye note to his family, says widow Allison Holker.
In her new memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, out Tuesday, the 36-year-old reveals a note “written on pages torn from a yellow pad was found near his body, addressed to me, our kids, and his family.”
She admits, “I was terrified to read the multipage letter. I assumed it would solve the mystery of why he killed himself, and I was apprehensive about knowing his unvarnished truth.”
According to the professional dancer, Boss’ final words “left us with more questions than closure.”
In her new book, Holker says that the pad that Boss was writing from also contained the “start of another letter, suggesting he intended to write each of us individual notes, but he never got further than the salutation.”
She writes, “I can only guess that he became overwhelmed trying to express his deep and abiding love for the family he had created. The idea of saying an individual goodbye was too painful, as evidenced by the dried teardrops on the page.
"Those teardrops made me think of his state of mind that last night he spent with us. It is especially tough for me to look back on that evening because there are so many things I wish I had done differently. If only I had asked more penetrating questions about where he had gone and the lie he was referring to. There had to have been one thing I could have asked that would have uncorked his bottled-up emotions and released an explanation for his strange behavior.”
In This Far, Holker reflects on Boss’ tragic death by suicide, calling the traumatic moment in time “incomprehensible.”
After Boss’ death, Holker founded the Move With Kindness Foundation, which “aims to carry on the legacy of Stephen tWitch Boss by spreading love and mental health awareness.”
She also debuted her new romance via Instagram with boyfriend Adam Edmunds in November 2024, and published a children's book, Keep Dancing Through: A Boss Family Groove, in January that year.
Holker's memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, is out now.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available 24 hours a day through the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
Related: Allison Holker's Net Worth: What Is the Professional Dancer and Memoir Author Worth?
