Yahoo Lifestyle "The Bar Is In Hell": 18 Times Men Were Praised For Literally Doing The Bare Minimum
For some wild reason, society has high expectations of women regarding caregiving, socializing, and personal grooming. But when it comes to men, they are often praised for doing the bare minimum (three-in-one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, anyone?). Sadly, the bar is very low for them (not by our doing!), and women confirmed that in this thread I found on Reddit. Here is some of what they shared:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."My brother was in the hospital after the birth of his children, and he kept being complimented for jumping up to change diapers."
2."I always make my husband carry our kid while boarding the airplane, and I trail behind like I’m not with them. Super Dad is welcomed with open arms! But if I’m the one with the kid, I get mean looks, sighs, and eye rolls."
3."Men shouldn't be praised for being good allies to women. It should be a natural state of mind for them. It's not a praiseworthy trait."
4."Cooking and cleaning. We both work so we both do chores, end of story."
5."Showing non-sexual affection."
—None
6."When they're out pushing a stroller or at the park with their kid. It's not babysitting. It's their spawn. Get over it. Moms don't get praised because they care for their kids."
7."Being a good father or someone that respects and protects women and their rights."
8."It so often is the bare minimum they get away with. One of my exes thought that when he vacuumed the floor (once), I should be so grateful I should go to bed with him then!"
9."Literally everything. From giving women compliments to treating them right, to not cheating on them, to not sexually assaulting them. Any small gestures that women do by themselves, men always do with ulterior motives. There are a few men out there who really do go overboard for their girlfriends and give them the 'princess treatment,' but the vast majority of men nowadays don’t even fulfill the 'bare minimum category."
10."Not yelling at women. I remember being very happy that my boyfriend didn't yell at me, and he was like, 'Ma'am, that's basic respect.'"
—None
11."I have one that’s less task-based. Communicating emotions and feelings ensures they’re on the same page as you and not just waiting for you to initiate and guide those conversations. Taking their fair share of the emotional 'labor' of the relationship and following through on emotional intimacy. Setting and following boundaries."
12."Opening the door instead of letting it smack you in the face. Helping you up if you trip."
13."'Babysitting' their own children. You’re a father, a parent of these child(ren). Spending time with them without another person (specifically the mother or partner) is just being a parent. Don’t break your arm, patting them on the back."
14."Honestly, I will mention many things to my BF, and he will say, 'Umm, that's just the bare minimum here, babe.' Wanting to listen to me talk, respecting my boundaries and not pushing me to talk about things that trigger me, letting me enjoy the things I do without shaming me, not shaming me for having a period, cooking, cleaning up when not asked to do it, buying me things just cause they make me happy. I mean the list is long of things I thank him for everyday for doing."
15."Not going through my phone and generally respecting my privacy and boundaries. Past exes have gone through my phone/stolen social media passwords, and then lied about it. Also, doing chores — the amount of times I've heard 'He's a keeper' whenever a man does something basic like laundry is depressing."
16."Buying her flowers"
17."I have often been shocked by a man remembering something I said. This isn’t a hard skill for most people. Why should I be shocked?"
18.And finally, "A friend of mine was thrilled when a new guy brought her a glass of water. THRILLED. She was so impressed by this and other examples of his thoughtfulness that she overlooked fifty red flags over the years, such as him hiding money from her."
Is there any other example of a guy doing the bare minimum that often gets praised? Share it all with me in the comments below!
