Yahoo Lifestyle What We Do in the Shadows Series Finale Recap: Fangs for the Memories! (Plus, Grade It!)
The What We Do in the Shadows vamps took a very meta trip down memory lane in this week’s series finale, as the documentary — and maybe the roommates’ time together — came to a close.
As Monday’s finale opens, Laszlo’s monster has become very, um, amorous and is chasing Nadja around the house — “This monster needs a bride,” Laszlo decides — and Nandor tries to sell Guillermo on his idea of them becoming masked crimefighters. (He’s mostly excited about getting an underground lair, which he’d access via a coffin elevator.) But suddenly, the documentary crew packs up their stuff and leaves. “It’s been six years,” Nandor explains. “They have enough footage now.” Guillermo can’t accept that it’s all just ending, but the crew will be filming B-roll until sunrise, so he has some time, at least.
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Nadja pulls Nandor aside and asks him to talk to Guillermo, who’s clearly dejected that the documentary is ending. These have been the six most exciting years of Guillermo’s life, she points out: “It’s like when you put a little raincoat on a dog, and the dog is walking around thinking, ‘Oh, woof woof, I’m a little human!'” So Nandor sits down with Guillermo and attempts to sympathize with him, while Colin offers empty platitudes better suited to a coffee mug. “Goodbyes are hard,” Nandor concedes, but “things end”… and Guillermo just needs to “stop being a little bitch.” Somehow, that doesn’t cure Guillermo’s melancholy, and the other vamps theorize about why this is bothering Guillermo so much. Is he “addicted to the limelight,” as Laszlo supposes? Or is he in love with the boom operator?
Nandor isn’t bothered by the project ending: After all, they’ve been filmed for a documentary before. They dig out an old black-and-white film reel of a 1958 documentary on them filmed by the famed Maysles brothers… where the vampires pretty much said and did the same things they do and say now. (We even get a return appearance from Laszlo’s alter ego Jackie Daytona!) But in the end, the directors decided “they didn’t have enough good material,” and they shelved the project. Guillermo wants the new documentary to show people the glory of vampires, but “we need an ending,” he decides. “It has to be good, and it has to mean something.”
The Guide suggests that Guillermo becoming a vampire would be a perfect ending… but they already did that last year, Nandor reminds her. (“Really should’ve finished filming at that point, I think,” Nadja adds. “Great out.”) Guillermo asks if they’ve learned anything, and The Guide makes a stirring speech about immigrants… that turns into a xenophobic rant. (“Make America Great Again For Vampires,” she declares.) So Nadja decides to just hypnotize the audience and have us visualize the best ending we can imagine… which, for us, was a parody of The Usual Suspects, with Colin pulling a Keyser Soze and spinning the whole vampires’ tale out of thin air for cops played by The Guide and next-door neighbor Sean: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he was just too boring to listen to.”
After the hypnosis — which lowered our IQs by 10 points each, Nadja warns — Colin shares his belief that we all choose our families, and that reminds him “how much I dearly miss my chosen family, who all died in a steamboat accident in 1906, leaving me with no choice but to hang out with you stinky turds.” (Heartwarming!) Guillermo then takes the floor and speaks from the heart about how “home is, essentially, where your friends are”… while the vampires cheer on Laszlo’s monster as he humps a stuffed bear. As Laszlo sits down at the piano and plays a rousing singalong version of “We’ll Meet Again,” Nandor pulls a still-distraught Guillermo aside for a private chat.
Nandor suggests it could be good that the cameras stop filming, for “lots of reasons”… mostly because the lights are too hot and give off a burning smell. As he settles into his coffin, Guillermo tells him: “Tomorrow, when you wake up, I won’t be here… It’s time to move on.” He calls him “master” one last time… and Nandor says, “You can call me Nandor.” Guillermo is touched, but “you’ll always be master to me.” He blows out the candles one last time, and the crew packs up to leave — but then Guillermo opens Nandor’s coffin back up. He’s not actually leaving; he just wanted to give the documentary a good ending. He doesn’t want to work for Nandor anymore, though. He wants to just be friends. With that, Nandor invites Guillermo to sit in his coffin… which he has rigged up to be a coffin elevator! He pulls a switch, and Guillermo screams as they plunge into the darkness below. (Oh, and the vampires watch a rough cut of the documentary, aka the Shadows pilot, but they get so bored, they walk out midway through.)
How’d you like that ending, vampire lovers? Climb out of your coffins and give the finale a grade in our poll, and then hit the comments to share your thoughts.
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