Yahoo Lifestyle Nikki Glaser Strikes Balance Between Roast And Tribute In Golden Globes Opening Monologue: Watch
One of the questions going into this year’s Golden Globes Awards was: Could first-time host Nikki Glaser match her career-making performance on last May’s Tom Brady Comedy Central roast?
The short answer: Yes.
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Glaser, who said in various pre-show interviews that she’d been testing jokes and monologue material for weeks at various stand-up appearances, proved that the prep work paid off. Unlike last year’s widely panned hosting perf from Jo Koy, Glaser’s GG debut walked the line between gentle roast and tribute.
“Some of you may know me as a stand up comedian and from my appearances on roasts but I am not here to roast you tonight,” she began. “I want you to know that. And how could I really? You’re all so famous, so talented, so powerful, you could really do anything. Well, except tell the country who to vote for.”
Some of the better jokes:
On nominated TV shows: “The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer. These are not just things found in RFK Jr.’s freezer.”
On nominated films: “Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch. These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms.”
On streaming: “If you’re watching on CBS, hello. If you’re watching on Paramount Plus, you have six days left to cancel your free trial.” And: “Eddie Redmayne did TV this year, he’s nominated for Peacock’s The Day of the Jackal. It’s about a top secret elite sniper that no one can find because he’s on Peacock. I think I’ve seen more actual peacocks in my life than a show on Peacock.”
Some other good lines:
“Denzel Washington is here for Gladiators 2, Cynthia Erivo is here for Wicked. Martin Short is here because we have cameras.” (That one seemed to particularly tickle Steve Martin.)
“Zendaya, you were incredible in Dune. Oh my God, I woke up for all of your scenes.”
“And Challengers, girl, oh my God, it was so good. I mean, that movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card.”
“Timothée Chalamet is here too, and can I just say you have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lip?…Dude, you were so good in A Complete Unknown as Bob Dylan. In fact, I actually read that your singing voice was so accurate that even Bob Dylan himself admitted that it was absolutely horrible.”
The Chalamet mention also led to a cute bit with Adam Sandler, as Glaser repeatedly pronounced the name using the weird comic voice of Sandler, with Sandler, in the audience, then joining in. Shades of Letterman’s “Uma-Oprah” bit, except it worked.
On Wicked: “Everyone loved Wicked. I loved Wicked. My boyfriend loved Wicked. My boyfriend’s boyfriend really loved Wicked.”
On Glen Powell: “What a year you’ve had. Oh, my God, Glen, you were in everything. Twisters, Hitman, my head when I’m having sex with my boyfriend.”
On Nicole Kidman: “Thank you so much for all of your hard work. And thank you Keith Urban for playing the guitar around the house so much that she leaves to do all those movies.”
And finally: “I really think this is gonna be a very memorable evening, and maybe not even in the way that you think. I predict five years from now, when you’re watching little clips of this show on YouTube, you’ll see someone in one of the crowd shots, and go, oh my god, that was before they caught that guy…It could be a woman, you know, but 100% of the time it’s a man. But it can be a woman, but it never is. Kind of like Best Director.”
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