How Australians' low-effort dating culture is affecting their relationships

A dating expert has given tips on how Aussies can foster more genuine relationships.

With Aussies getting a bad rep for themselves as low-effort daters, dating app experts are coming in to tell people trying to find love online to start being upfront about what you want and not worry about being cool.

From forgetting about expectations but setting standards instead, throwing out ick lists, and learning to embrace rejection, experts are saying Aussies could benefit from trying to lean into their more "authentic selves" and make their dating intentions clear.

Speaking with licensed therapist and Hinge's Love and Connection expert Moe Ari Brown, he said Australians' laidback nature isn't a bad thing but it could be affecting their love life.

"We’ve heard from daters that Australian culture, in general, is pretty laid back, and they can take a more laid back approach to dating, too. Being laid back isn’t a bad thing, and I always encourage everyone to be their authentic selves, particularly when going into the dating space," Moe told Yahoo Lifestyle.

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A tourist has called out Aussie men for being bad at dating. Photo:

"However, when it comes to putting the effort in with potential matches and making your dating intentions clear, it’s important to be intentional with how you communicate.

"A lot of this stems from the fact that 95% of Hinge users are fearful of rejection," Moe said.

Embrace 'cringe' mode

New data from dating app Hinge suggests that Australia's penchant for 'playing it cool' means that people may be missing out on forming meaningful connections.

Moe said people could combat this by stepping out of their comfort zone and embracing "cringe mode".


"If there’s one thing I’d encourage Aussie daters to work on this year, it’s to embrace “cringe mode,” get out of your comfort zone and lay it all out there, even in the face of possible rejection. Cringe mode is all about going after what you want and being open about how you feel about someone, because the truth is, playing it cool won’t get you the relationship you want," Moe said.

Embracing cringe mode could be the following: responding quickly to texts, not game-playing, and following up and sending a second text if you need to.

woman with phone and love heart emoji
Aussies are getting a bad rep for being low-effort daters. Photo: Getty

"I encourage daters to build their rejection resilience. All the worthwhile things in life require opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection, and if you hide from this, you’re hiding from your dreams," Moe said.

"This means shifting your focus away from removing fear to focusing on the potential rewards, like making powerful connections and finding love!"

Become mutually choosy

Building rejection resilience also leans into dating more intentionally — instead of focusing on being 'chosen' Moe encourages dating app users to be mutually choosy.

"Often, we are conditioned to see rejection in a one-dimensional way, meaning you’re either the one doing the rejection or you’re being rejected," Moe explained.

Instead, see it as a co-created or mutual process of evaluating compatibility. When we are getting to know someone and we decide not to move forward, we are making an intentional choice to honour the wealth of knowledge we have about ourselves and what kinds of partnerships work best for us. Rejection is not just rejection; it’s co-created protection."

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