Aussie men are getting slammed for being bad at dating on TikTok and it's all true

Opinion

Recently a tourist visiting Australia uploaded a now-viral TikTok where she questioned how Australian dating works, after being confused when it came to the lack of dating effort from Aussie men.

In the video, TikTok user @aimersx said she does not understand Australian men and their lack of effort, stating many other women shared the same horror stories she was experiencing.

The video was inundated with comments from women, agreeing that the "bar was low" and single women in Australia are "in the trenches".

Irish TikTok user kerryfairy_ took to her own profile telling her followers if they thought Irish men were hard work, to go to Australia. "You'll be crawling back to Ireland to marry an Irish man," she said. "It baffles me how they [Aussie men] speak to women, how they speak about women, how they approach women... it's a shock to the system."

Other TikTok users have flooded the videos with comments about dating in Australia.

"Dating in Australia is like walking into a red-flagged carnival," one person said. "We don't have rules. You just fight for your life," another Aussie commented.

Aussie men aren't good at dating, it's true

Any single Aussie woman watching these TikToks is probably nodding along with a resigned smile, because there's no disputing the narrative unfolding. It's all pretty damn true.

As someone single for the last six years, it hasn't been lost on me the low-effort culture when it comes to Australian dating.

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For some reason, when dating in Australia, showing attraction or even talking about a singular feeling is going to send a man running in the opposite direction. And a lot of Aussie men tend to hear one thing, and interpret it as another thing completely.

If you go on one date and mention to the guy in question you've had a good time, he'll somehow interpret it as though you're in love with him already and freak (or ghost) out.

One time I asked a guy I was seeing (who was well into his 30s) if he saw himself having kids in the future. I was making small talk, not even thinking about the weight the question supposedly had. He looked at me absolutely terrified. When we ended things a couple of weeks later after he started taking days to text back, he cited one of the reasons as being "you want kids, and I don't think I'll be ready until I'm over 40... if at all."

Firstly, I never said I wanted kids. Secondly, grow up.

Men of Australia, it's not that hard

The sad truth is that a lot of Aussie women have been conditioned to this low-effort behaviour for years and it's just become a sad, accepted truth.

When I talk to single men about dating issues here in Australia, they have the same complaint. "Well, girls expect the first date to be an expensive dinner and for us to pay for it, and what if it then isn't even a good date? We lose out financially."

Firstly, sit down Andrew Tate. No one's asking you to pour your weekly salary into one dinner date, and if they are, you can say no and come up with another plan. You've got it in you, Einstein, I just know it! Have you heard of going out for a coffee? Given an iced oat latte is setting me back financially more than I'd care to admit these days, it's still a decent enough alternative when first getting to know someone. Also the bar is so low when it comes to dating in Australia, I'd be expecting to buy my own coffee anyway.

As an absolute bare minimum, men are what I'd deem ~good enough~ at asking if you want to grab a drink or coffee. But when faced with the "Sounds great! When and where?" they crumble. Their brain becomes the GIF of the tumbleweed floating morosely through the desert. "IDK," they reply. "What works for you?"

Next thing you know, women are taking on the labour of coming up with a plan for a date they didn't even initiate. It's a tale as old as time that I've heard again and again in my single girls' group chats.

So if the very first problem single women are finding is that men can't even come up with a basic first date idea, god forbid, we ever make it to the actual dating stage.

"I'd be happy for him to suggest grabbing a coffee and going for a walk," one friend told me. "But if you're going to ask me out, take initiative and make a plan."

One coffee. One hour. One chance to tell us all King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard is your favourite band and you've just taken up bouldering. One opportunity to see if it can go beyond one very simple first date.

Lads, it shouldn't be that hard... right?

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