Yahoo Lifestyle 17 Funny Weekend Tweets
For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on the weekend. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
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1.
My car wouldn’t start, so I dusted that crust off the battery and wiggled something. On the road again. pic.twitter.com/lPqIqDU9IU
— Big Mellie ✨ (@EsOnHerChest) June 14, 2024
PBS / Twitter: @EsOnHerChest
2.
I wonder if shampoo and conditioner are friends irl or if it’s purely professional
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) June 14, 2024
3.
😭😭😭 my aunty is so hilarious for blaming her stretch marks on my cousins. They’re all her step kids
— lindy (@Lindyyay) June 15, 2024
4.
My airpods when they're about to die: pic.twitter.com/dfWa1242fE
— Salem // beautiful stranger (@Gibs0ns_Girl) June 14, 2024
RCA Records. / Twitter: @Gibs0ns_Girl
5.
Holy fucking shit, Danny absolutely hated being in this wedding. Already at the thrift store pic.twitter.com/4oPWtGz098
— bayou blastbeats (@alienantware) June 14, 2024
6.
Being smart has never stopped me from being an idiot.
— Wisecracking Blonde (@RoobsC) June 14, 2024
7.
“Close the curtain, you POOR” https://t.co/ffIbBVOK1I
— Reyda 🦖 (@MsReyda) June 14, 2024
8.
— s (@propaganda91) June 14, 2024
9.
— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) June 13, 2024
10.
the thing about having friends with good politics is that none of them have a boat.
— barbarelleh (@barbarelleh) June 13, 2024
11.
i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said “wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?” and i said “okay” so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said “thats how much it would cost” and i said “okay”
— buck tooth cunt (@Royal_McPoyle) June 13, 2024
12.
Older black lady asked me how I’ve been losing weight and if I’m taking “Olympics.” pic.twitter.com/YEnH02qZW9
— MS. PARKER (@MafiosoRo) June 14, 2024
Bravo / Twitter: @MafiosoRo
13.
Library patron of the week: the kindergartener whose parting shot at checkout was, “You haven’t seen the last of ME.”
— Alix Hawley (@alixhawley) June 14, 2024
14.
Me pulling my emergency icicle out of my bun pic.twitter.com/po9dSsXwAI
— wasian doll (@soberkravitz) June 14, 2024
American Music Awards / Twitter: @soberkravitz
15.
Jesse Pinkman would have made a beautiful full time uber eats driver slash soundcloud rapper if not for that white demon
— ape attack survivor (@pissvortex) June 15, 2024
16.
Hell yeah brother pic.twitter.com/3OSPYWpXQg
— Jane (@janetherevelatr) June 15, 2024
17.
our 16-month-old daughter doesn’t stand on her own yet so we got her some x-rays to see if she has a problem with her hips or something and it turns out that she’s totally fine but just prefers sitting. never been prouder.
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) June 15, 2024
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