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Bride's 'selfish' wedding demands cause huge family rift
A man has taken to Reddit to question whether he is in the wrong, after refusing to accomodate his niece's "selfish" wedding demands to have the ceremony and reception at his house.
Taking to the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the user shared that almost 30 years ago he and his wife used their savings, as well as the inheritance he received after his father's passing, to buy a farmhouse in Southern Europe, which he and his family refer to as The Castle.
The couple decided to live in a small and basic home in their home country and instead put their extra cash into getting The Castle ready for their retirement and for their children to enjoy.
"It took years but around the time our eldest was born it was finally finished,” he wrote.
“It's not massive; 5 bedrooms and a small pool in the gardens but it is our paradise. We've always allowed our families and friends to use it whenever they please, and have spent every summer vacation staying there with our children.
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"Our only stipulation when people stay there is that the master bedroom is off limits. It takes up most of the 3rd floor with the remaining bedrooms on the 2nd floor. A lot of my and my wife's belongings are in there, and it's also the room we have shared together for over twenty years.
"Recently my niece got engaged and held an engagement party on Zoom at the weekend. When asked what ideas they'd had so far she excitedly told me they'd actually been planning to ask us if they could hold the wedding at The Castle."
He continued, "I was a bit taken aback but didn't want to outright refuse. I joked it would have to be a rather small wedding since they'd struggle to fit more than 25 people in the gardens. She gushed that she'd already thought it through and they'd put up canopies in the field nearby (we don't own that land) and if all the guests stayed in hotels in the town she would arrange transport for 'us all to get to the villa'.
"My wife and I bit our tongues not wanting to make a fuss during their engagement celebration. But later when my niece texted me to repeat what she'd said I asked her to clarify the sleeping arrangements and after some back and forth it came to light she plans to use the master bedroom as the bridal suite and for the wedding party to have the remaining rooms. My wife, children and I would have to stay elsewhere."
He added that he slept on it and after speaking with his wife decided to politely refuse, as the property is "too small" and they weren't comfortable have anyone in their bedroom.
"Both she and my sister blew up at me telling me I was ruining her wedding and she'd always dreamed of marrying at The Castle. My sister even said since I used my inheritance it's 'family property' which is obviously ridiculous."
"When we texted her on Sunday we offered a compromise: no master bedroom, and either get permission/insurances to use the fields, or reduce guest count to 25. We even offered to host a small rehearsal too but she rejected the offers. That is when we outright refused," he finished.
Fellow Reddit users were quick to respond.
"If you and your family are staying at the castle she can’t pretend to be a princess on her wedding day,” one user wrote.
“My guess is that she has been bragging about her 'family castle' to all her friends and would have to come clean to her friends about the fact that she has only stayed there as a guest. That’s why she won’t accept any of the compromises you’ve offered."
“Your niece is so entitled,” another added. “She expects you to host her wedding without even asking you first before telling everyone and then expects you to give up your whole house for it. Then expects whoever owns the land near you to just let her use without even asking. She has no right to just expect these things and then get upset about. It’s your house.”
"As you've stated the Castle yard is too small and her using the fields, you don't own, hinge on the owner agreeing,” another commenter pointed out.
“What if the owner of the fields says 'no' is she going to put the canopies up anyway. You know what will really ruin her dream wedding? The police showing up and telling everyone to get off the land or be arrested for trespassing.
"Niece and your sister need a reality check, especially since the 'fields' that they want to use for the wedding are actually olive groves (as you've mentioned in another comment). The olive farmer isn't going to want people trampling their plants."
Another said, "It’s your property and they shouldn’t expect your whole family to vacate the property so they can have a wedding in your home. That’s incredibly selfish."
The post received more than 2,100 comments, with everyone seemingly on the poster's side.
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