Yahoo Lifestyle The Internet Is Not Holding Back Their Opinions After This Woman Refused To Let Her Daughter-In-Law Hold Her Own Baby
The horror stories of some mothers-in-law never stop — and that rings especially true if you have a baby.
Well, today, one mother on Reddit says she is trying to understand the psychology behind why her mother-in-law acts the way that she does. "My MIL was holding my baby, and she started fussing, and it was stressing me out. I signaled to my boyfriend that I wanted her back, so he told his mom to hand her to me. She tried to give her to my boyfriend instead, and my boyfriend said no and to hand her to me. She just kept trying to give her to him instead of me," shared u/AssumptionOwn7651.
She continued, "My baby was looking confused where her mom was and sucking on her hands out of hunger. My MIL finally handed her back when I said she was hungry. She did this the first time she held my baby too. She held her for like 30 minutes straight and eventually got tired of holding her but wouldn’t give my baby back to me and gave her to my boyfriend. It’s almost like she would get annoyed when I would go over to the baby while my boyfriend was holding her like my MIL was guarding my baby from me. Then, when she held her again, she started getting hungry, and she tried handing her back to my boyfriend when she knows I breastfeed."
"I'm always interested in learning the psychology behind why people act the way they do, so I'm trying to figure out her logic but I can't understand what difference she thinks she’s making by keeping my baby out of my arms for the measly hour and a half that she visits every once in a while," she concluded in the thread.
It was pretty surprising to see just how many other moms have also dealt with this situation with their own MILs:
"My MIL did the same thing, and now she has started the questions, 'Does dad do XYZ with you? Do you love your dad? Dad, Dad, Dad.' She never asks our son anything about me, only his dad. She buys our son gifts specifically for him to do with dad 🙄."
"My MIL did this when my son was very young. It really annoyed me, and I did wonder why she did it. Why give him to my husband when I had specifically asked? She would also put him in his stroller when she knew full well I’d asked for him back. Once she blocked my way and went to push the stroller away from me as I stood up to get him out. I very firmly and loudly said, 'Excuse me!' She jumped and got out of the way and then glared at me. She should have just given me my baby in the first place 🤷🏻♀️."
So, after reading all these scenarios, people were livid, and they did NOT hold back on their opinions:
"In your MIL's eyes, it's not your child, it's her son's. You just happened to be an incubator. She wants to raise the child as a pseudo-mother alongside your boyfriend. Her handing you the baby is acknowledging that you are the real mother, and she can't fucking stand it."
"It sounds like she doesn't want to acknowledge you as the mother and is trying to imprint that on your daughter."
"She doesn't want to have to recognize you as the baby's mother because that would mean you take precedence over her in matters relating to them. She's not going to be told what she can or cannot do by you! She's more important than you! By pulling this BS, she's pretending that your partner is the child's only parent and that you don't matter. Make no mistake, this is a pissing competition... One that you cannot let her win."
"Because she's a bitch. Stop letting her hold her, and tell your spineless boyfriend to stand up for you or pay child support. It's literally that simple."
"She doesn’t like you so she avoids interaction."
"The next time she does it, tell her in a very forceful voice, 'GIVE ME MY BABY. And if you can't respect me, then you can STAY YOUR ASS HOME until you do! And I mean it.' Block her from your phone and social media. She owes you an apology and needs to respect you. If she can't do that, then neither you nor the baby need her in your lives. After she did it the first time, you should have gone for her jugular and straightened her ass out right then and there. Remember, you don't have to be friends with your MIL, but she has to respect you."
"Start wearing the baby in a wrap, and don't let her hold them. She's trying to 'put you in your place.' She's not-so-subtly signaling to you that, as far as she's concerned, you were the incubator for her son's child. Keep a distance. Don't ever let her have unsupervised care of your child."
Phew, I am no psychologist but this behavior seems very triggering. Tell us what you think in the comments!
NOTE: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
