Aussie calls out infuriating behaviour from parents: 'Cross the line'

When my phone pinged for the 57th time, alerting me to new messages in one of the parent WhatsApp groups I belonged to, I thought it surely meant that something, you know, important was happening. Clicking on the little green icon to check what major catastrophe must have occurred, I was met, instead, with post after post about House colours and what shade of blue was the correct hue to wear at next week’s sports day.

This is just one of the many (many) reasons parenting WhatsApp groups have me pulling my hair out. Regularly.

At this point, you’re doing one of two things: nodding your head with great enthusiasm, with an “ah, yep, I feel you” expression on your face, or you’re reading on in bewilderment because you use the app with vigour and are just like the parents who have, at one point, found me with clumps of hair in my hands (lucky I have a lot of it.)

While some parents are steadfast about their benefits for parenting admin, or even as a portal to the relevant community, for the most part, whether these WhatsApp groups were created for school, pre-school, or co-curricular activity parents, they are a platform where absolutely infuriating behaviour takes place – behaviour that often drives most (sensible) parents to hit mute or leave the group they probably never wanted to be a part of.

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Toxic behaviour in parents' WhatsApp groups

Because let’s be honest, most of the communication within these groups is unnecessary, often the questions being asked could easily be answered by reading the school communication - like newsletters or the form sent via the school’s app.

Sometimes, there are questions asked, or issues raised publicly that very clearly shouldn't be.

No, not all the parents of the school’s Grade 2 cohort need to know that Billy was the initial source of the head lice outbreak (again) and needs better treatment, so it doesn’t keep returning. Communicate privately with a teacher! Believe it or not, they too have email, you can often pop in to see them and they are typically responsive.

On the other side of the coin, there are the parents who must give their two cents to these specific issues or answer questions, even if the answer has already been provided. Because they, too, knew, and they want you to know that they knew. Who knew?!

Types of parents in the class WhatsApp chat

Mum and comedian Kelly Taylor regularly parodies WhatsApp chats on TikTok, with one outlining some of the typical school parents on school WhatsApp groups – the class rep, the disorganised parent, the activist/complainer. That particular post has accumulated over 29 thousand likes and many comments. Other videos by Kelly poke fun at group messages about everything from the end of year performance to the dreaded Book Week and more.

“I muted the class WhatsApp. Made it easier,” wrote one.

"School WhatsApp gives me so much anxiety!," another parent added.

“Why don’t parents just ask the teacher?" wrote another. (And yes, I hear you.)

While all of this is super frustrating, my biggest gripe is that many of the parents’ WhatsApp groups I've been in or have heard about from friends often cross the line from respectful to petty and immature as if some parents are returning to their Mean Girl days of high school. And in my forties, I just don’t need that. Who does?

Not just mums suffering in the parents chat

Evidently, it's not just the mums who are feeling the 'ick' over this form of incessant communication, with Australian comedian, Sammy J hilariously posting a clip of him performing a parody about parents’ WhatsApp groups.

“I’m in a parent WhatsApp group. My life was going fine, now I’m spending all my time in a parents’ What's App group,” he sings.

“It starts off really well, we’re all happy and excited then you find out there’s a class party and your kid wasn’t invited,” he continues.

“I feel seen. I can never escape,” posted one parent in response.

“Absolute facts,” wrote another.

As well as the pettiness of the groups, Sammy J also touches on break-out WhatsApp groups, where parents go rogue in defiance or to escape the frustrations of the original group, only to create something even more toxic.

“None told me it’d be like I’m in primary school again,” he sings.

Escaping WhatsApp

Jokes aside, sometimes posts on WhatsApp or other social media platforms can have serious and potentially illegal repercussions, including cases of defamation.

One such case involved Tamborine Mountain State High School principal Tracey Brose.

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Brose was briefly suspended in 2016, on full pay, following a complaint and subsequent follow-up comments, made by parents on a school Facebook page about the way a child was disciplined.

Ultimately unproven, Brose was reinstated a couple of months later and eight parents were sued for defamation resulting in a substantial payout for Brose.

Maybe something to mention in your parent WhatsApp group?

Or, perhaps, an even better solution is to do what I did, and that is to leave the parent WhatsApp groups entirely. Because nearly a year later, I can definitely say that as a school parent I am still very much across all of the school communication (newsletters are great like that), just sans the gossip, drama and the godforsaken alerts that are enough to drive anyone up the wall.

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