Angie Kent is Yahoo Lifestyle's Bachelorette 2021 columnist! Angie won't hold back on her spicy opinions and insider insights into everything and everyone from Brooke Blurton's season.
Welcome back to another week of The Bachelorette. We are getting down to the pivotal point... hometowns!
Hometowns are just around the corner and we have sweet angel Holly on the second-last single date. Holly admits that she has never taken a girl home to meet her mum before, which makes me think we will 100 percent be seeing Holly at hometowns. So watch this space — they've set that up swingingly.
Second-last group date... nothing can beat last week's delicious Mardi Gras-themed group date so I will skim over this one quite quickly and get to the juicy stuff. Physical activity competitions are just not a vibe in my world. Then throw some kids in there. I love kids but I don’t want them on any date. EVER. Unless they are my own.
The guys and gals are split into three teams and they compete in a game called ‘Protect the Treasure’. It’s all fun and games until someone actually forgets they are versing actual real-life children and it really is ok if you don’t win because let's face it, Brooke probably has a solid idea at this stage who is going to hometowns whether you beat the small children or not.
Imagine getting a penalty from Daddy Osher because you are being too rough with the call in children. Probably while their parents are literally at the side off-screen watching on. That was hard to watch. Timm’s twin Kurt wins the one-on-one time with Brooke and they have their solo time on the field with candles and deep chats about marriage. Competition is tough and sweet angel Kurt has stolen a lot of hearts across Australia. Well, those of us who are actually watching.
Cocktail party time and everyone is a bundle of nerves. The last single date is looming and the guys and gals are throwing everything next-level romantic and the kitchen sink at Brooke. Presents, sangria, pedestals, the works. Darvid gets the last single date card and two people are sent packing. Mr. Steal Yo Girl and someone I hardly remember receiving any air time at all.
The Thursday night group date... aka the naked painting date. Look, it instantly took me back to the episode where my best mate Yvie Jones threw me a bachelorette party that one time and that long blonde-haired English fella Ciarran completely nuded up and we had to draw him starkers in a live drawing session. TRIGGERING. But of course, Brooke’s was much more pure and wholesome. No junk in sight and no one yelling out the word 'penis' repetitively.
To be there with nothing but a sheet covering your body and having a group of people you have pashed numerous times just all staring at you? That takes a lot of vulnerability and strength. Am I surprised Brooke could pull this off? No. She is a pillar of strength. They all paint what they see within Brooke and then share it with her in another room as the rest look on from a TV. That was an intense group date. I don’t know how they all did it so calmly. I would have been sweating all over the place like a bumbling mess, as per.
Konrad's painting - God love him. He put his heart and soul into that art piece. He’s like the kid at school that’s good at everything and is cute and is sweet and everyone is just like 'ehhhhh Kondrad with a K we get it, you’re the best'. Except at abiding contracts evidently. Look ya can’t have it all. It’s hard to watch him and Brooke now. They look so smitten and all I can see is his tongue down Chatfield's throat.
The date was going well but that chat about what he wants to do with his life was a weird one. I am unsure how to take that whole thing. Is it bad that he doesn’t know what he wants to do as a 31-year-old man? Or is it concerning that Brooke could potentially write him off because right now he doesn’t know what he wants to be and she wants someone with a steady income/ job? I get it, but I also think a lot of us don’t really know what we want to do, or go through stages where we want a career change. I’ve been a nanny, a support worker, a production coordinator, a marketing assistant, a Goggleboxer, a jungle dweller, a Bachelorette, a writer, a podcaster, an actress — life is for living!
I still don’t even know what I want to do, but I take on whatever comes my way and what serves me in that moment in my life. Perhaps our little rule-breaker Konrad is the same. I hear that. But I also understand where Brooke is coming from to some degree. No one wants a grown-ass man-baby who doesn’t know what they want and could potentially be quite flippant with life choices. I know this from experience. Man babies are one of the worst.
Darvid has the final date. Feet in grapes is not my idea of a perfect date. Anything with feet anytime anywhere is my idea of hell. And then drinking the said foot juice. So let's rewind... Darvid got the first date and he gets the last one before hometowns. Going off what I know — and let's say I do know a little bit about how this madness works — he is the final dude at the end. There, I said it. I say this as I did the same thing in my season. And I am getting those vibes, hardcore.
Cocktail party time... The follow-up chat after Brooke and Konrad's problematic job chat was even more awkward than the first chat. It made us feel like Konrad was going home. But alas he did not. Millie and Timm 2.0 went home. I love how Timm 2.0 says 'we can still be friends on the outside'. Wishful thinking my sweet. I thought the same thing about many of the fellas from my season, and I only stay in touch properly with one of the guys out of the 20.
It’s wild how much you think in that moment you would expect to be friends with these people for a lifetime. Bonded by trauma (bit dramatic) but then when you are out in the real world everything changes. I hope it’s different for Brooke. And that her partner trusts and supports her and holds space for her to continue friendships with her exes post the filming experience. Definitely can be a tricky one to navigate.
HOMETOWNS BABY! Hometowns via video call hits differently. It just isn’t the same. Damn, Covid restrictions killing our vibe. That week of meeting your top 4's families is so HUGE. You are already so exhausted from the 12-18 hour filming days and then meeting the people you care about the most in that moment of your life, the people they care about the most... All the feels. I can’t believe my season of The Bachelorette back in 2019 was the last time where hometowns were in-person for all. Wild times.
Konrad is up first. I’ve noticed they have cut out the part where you spend the day with the top 4 before you go meet the fam. Yet, this episode still goes for 44 million years. I digress... Ok, so I am totally obsessed with Konrad's Dad. His family is delightful, they were so colourful and spirited. I want them to be my second parents. I could feel Brooke’s nerves, meeting the fam is intimidating. I was lucky enough to get tipsy with all the fams when I did hometowns. Break the ice. Made bulk Angie jokes to overcome those awkie moments.
Konrad's dad crying... it goes to show why Konrad seems like such an outstanding guy. As someone put it so beautifully on Twitter, this is one of the best Bachie dads in recent memory. Iconic, heart-wrenching performance here. None of the overprotective guard dog patriarchy stuff we normally see. Ahhh... imagine having an emotionally available father. Wouldn’t that be a treat and a half?
We all spoke too soon when we thought that the franchise wasn’t going to do the whole family and friends grilling Brooke after we saw the absolute gift that was Konrad's family. Cue Jamie Lee’s friends. I know they’re probably told to grill to some degree but do they know what show Jamie Lee signed up for on her own? The basis of the show is one person dates a bunch of people. This isn’t brand new information. It’s cooked for sure. I get that. But that’s what we all signed up for. Jamie Lee is so smitten with Brooke. I almost feel second-hand heartbreak because I don’t see her being the one at the end and I can feel that heartbreak right through the screen. Heartbreak is the absolute pits.
Darvid's up next. The mum and sister combo. They’re giving Darvid's mum the 'OTT mum' edit, or she's doing a good job of it herself. Darvid is a grown-ass man and if he wants to move to Melbourne then he can. People pick up and move their life all the time. Darvid living on the same street as his mum gives me Everybody Loves Raymond energy. NOT for me! I love my family absolutely sick, but living on the same street as them, with them feeling they can pop over whenever they see fit... My inner introvert just died a little inside.
Holly is our lucky last home-towner. We are in for the 'children' talk. Holly might not want kids, and Brooke wants a whole fucking tribe. Her exact words. Love seeing Brooke swear. Finally! Makes her so much more relatable when she threw out that little F-bomb. I was starting to think, does this girl do anything remotely jarring? She seems so very squeaky clean and put together. I think I dropped the F-bomb and talked about my vagina in my first episode. Bless.
I think if your values don’t align a relationship is doomed. It is so OK to not want kids, but you can’t be with someone who doesn’t want them when you do. It’s just never going to work. Holly not wanting to move to WA is quite valid, no one can move there at the moment. Between Queensland and Western Australia’s next-level border restrictions, none of us can date anyone from there again. I feel the conversations about kids and location should have been discussed like halfway through the season. Now it seems a little late?
Rose ceremony time... Konrad with a K, it has been real. I truly wished you waited until today to publicly pash Abbie Chatfield so we could have really felt our little hearts break watching you be sent home. Oh well, we can’t have it all. If the rumours are true, we just hope everyone is happy.
Shit's getting even MORE real. Top three next week and it looks freakin' intense.
Until next week lovers x
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