Yahoo Lifestyle 24 Funny Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Shed A Single Tear
August is chugging along, and Kamala Harris has officially picked Tim Walz as her VP running mate. Still a little sad she didn't do it this way, but alas:
It would be sooo fun if Kamala started soft launching her VP pick on insta stories with like a hand on the table at lunch
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) August 2, 2024
Anyway, here are the funniest tweets by women this week. Enjoy!
(Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!)
1.
Why does every single day cost $300
— party gets me wetter☆ (@mainbitchclique) August 6, 2024
2.
My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying “where are my glasses?!” I feel attacked
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) August 6, 2024
3.
Hot girls finding me hot too is my favorite part of girlhood
— kri$ (@mourningst6r) August 5, 2024
4.
If my anxiety was lower I could go for a walk to lower my anxiety
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) August 6, 2024
5.
trauma is so silly like wow something upset me so badly as a child that it has warped my entire perception of life every day following it??? ur telling me my brain can’t realize it wasn’t my fault and live a normal life now??? I gotta be haunted by it forever??????
— Taylor Nicole Dean (@taylorndean) August 6, 2024
6.
Imagine your high school social studies teacher becomes the vice president
— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) August 7, 2024
7.
“Taco Bell isn’t even good” Yeah I know. Sometimes the raccoon inside of me craves garbage. Leave me & my Crunchwrap alone
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) August 5, 2024
8.
I just know Tim Walz could teach me how to drive stick shift without making me cry once
— Carrie Courogen (@carriecourogen) August 7, 2024
9.
‘I’m in your city’ NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
— alondra (@alondramaren) August 4, 2024
10.
Felt cute might dissociate later
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) August 5, 2024
11.
when I say I don’t drink anymore that means shots. cocktails and champagne are just part of being a girl.
— ʎʞɔnl (@CELE6RITY) August 4, 2024
12.
date idea: we go to urban outfitters and say stuff like ‘that’s really nice’ followed by ‘£80 for a jumper who do they think they are’
— alex ! 👽⭐️🦕 (@eventuallydrlin) August 4, 2024
13.
the only time i hate to see a bad bitch is at the thrift store
— no (@user1777777771) August 4, 2024
14.
Born to be in a bikini with my bestie sipping pina coladas on a beach, forced to text them like a lovesick obsessive ex instead
— 𝐋 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀🩸 (@lunachrissy) August 3, 2024
15.
[me, a people pleaser]: “no doctor that’s okay, whatever type of blood you have is fine”
— e l l a (@blondehotcoffee) August 5, 2024
16.
“finally a day off”my day off: pic.twitter.com/ppJsBq1fav
— Jenni (@hashjenni) August 4, 2024
Twitter: @hashjenni / Nickelodeon
17.
Twitter is healthy because its reading
— rebecca (@babyybeckz) August 7, 2024
18.
Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) August 5, 2024
19.
Sitting in air conditioning makes me a better person.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) August 3, 2024
20.
Our medical system is like yeah this is serious and should be treated immediately see you in 10 months.
— Stephanie Sparkles (@SSparklesDaily) August 4, 2024
21.
if you dislike salt and vinegar chips it means you lack courage and strength of character
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) August 8, 2024
22.
balding men panicking about the markets… my guy you’re worried about the wrong recession
— alli (@sonofalli) August 5, 2024
23.
texting every man I know “hey what’s going on with the stock market?” as a little treat for them
— ellie schnitt ! (@holy_schnitt) August 5, 2024
24.
I love saying ‘sorry I’m out of it today’ as if there has been a day in the past fucking five years I’ve been in it
— LorazeKim ™ 🏴☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🏁 (@_KimberleyAnna) August 4, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
23 Funny Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Got A Stomach Cramp
