TikTok 'sex educator' spills on how men and women can be better at dating

Aussie TikTok star AJ Papadatos had a surprising rise to viral fame after he started using the platform to educate his audience on how to have better sex.

The 28-year-old, who works as an Adult Boutique Director and sex educator, currently helps run the family business, with his mum having run a successful adult store for years.

"I have been in the adult industry since I was the minute I turned 18," AJ told Yahoo Lifestyle. "I ventured out to running club events, then I came back into the family business at 23, and I really started taking it seriously."

On using social media and TikTok to grow the brand, AJ said it was real-life experience that led him to give relationship and sex advice online.

"I'll be sitting in the store, and I'm giving more advice than I am selling toys. And our stores have been built on the idea of education and helping. We're couple-friendly, woman-friendly, LGBTQI+ friendly... there are all the different things that we want to accommodate, rather than just be your typical, dirty, you know, non-attentive, non-helpful adult store. A lot of them have that stigma."

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Now with over 500,000 social media followers, AJ now uses his platform to educate men and women on how to have better sex, answers relationship dating dilemmas, and is ready to make the world a more open place video by video.

Yahoo Lifestyle asked AJ some dating questions, and here's what he had to say.

What couples can do to get the 'spark' back: 'Stop the texting'

"You'll be surprised what you can do in your relationship if you give them 30 minutes a day," AJ said. "Phones away, go for a walk, stop the f***ing texting all day, check in, then leave each other alone.

"Just get out and sit and debrief with each other. You'd be surprised reconnecting on the intimacy side, can do absolute wonders for a relationship. You're getting endorphins, you're walking, you're expressing so much s**t.

"If you're able to express yourself, let things out, and talk and discuss things, you're more likely going to get into the bedroom and let go and surrender and be able to orgasm because you're not caught blocking yourself."

On what men can do better in relationships: 'It takes 30 minutes'

"What men don't realise is a lot of women struggle to orgasm because they've got so much s**t going on in their head," AJ said.

"I tell men, and I cop a lot of flack, but your home life is so important. You are in a partnership. If you actually work as a team, you pull your slack, you might be f***ing tired, but it takes 30 minutes just to do some little things instead of sitting in front of a game or sitting on the phone. Have a shower together, and get into bed, you're probably going to want to get it on because you're both not resenting each other."

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His one piece of advice for women struggling to find healthy relationships

"My biggest advice to women is to fill your own cup," AJ said. "Focus on healing the bits of yourself that you don't like, just focus on falling in love with the bits of yourself that you don't love, focus on doing things that make you happy, and getting yourself some hobbies and living life."

AJ went on to say he gets a lot of the same comments from women and sees the same dating dilemmas on other creators' platforms as well.

"I'll see the same comments [from women] like 'I keep dating the same man'. It's not a choice at that stage, it's a pattern. So you have to find what pattern it is that is making you keep attracting these narcissistic men or these men that don't want to support you and you have to heal that in order to change the pattern," he said.

"At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with being single, but the more you pour back into yourself, the more you start to attract, rather than chase."

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