Bride’s list of ‘expectations’ for bridesmaids goes viral on TikTok

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A woman on TikTok is being praised after sharing an ‘expectation’ list she made for her bridesmaids.

The now viral video outlines exactly what the bride wanted from her bridal party, with followers calling it “very mature”.

TikTok user Lisa and her 'expectations' list for bridesmaids.
Lisa's transparency list outlines time and money commitments for her bridesmaids, as well as an option to say no. Photos: TikTok/@lisalovesrandom

Lisa (@lisalovesrandom) posted on TikTok wanting to share a tip about how to be more transparent with your bridal party.

“I was scared to have a transparency letter in the bridesmaid proposal box, but it WORKED OUT,” she captioned the video, which currently has over four million views.


Lisa explains that as well as the initial invitation to be a bridesmaid, she also included a letter that outlined time and money commitments.

“So I told them if they lived over an hour away, they didn’t have to worry about making it to the bridal shower or to go wedding dress shopping with me, it was fine,” she told her followers.

“I told them I would pay for their hair/makeup, [but] they would be responsible for the cost of the bridesmaid dress.”

The soon-to-be-married woman also said that she gave her bridesmaids the freedom to choose whatever style dress they wanted, it just had to be a specific colour.

“But most importantly I told them that they could say no to being a bridesmaid,” she continued, “that we would still be friends and they could keep all the gifts within the bridesmaid proposal box.”

Lisa revealed that one person did decline the invitation, but they are still good friends.

She showed her followers the actual list she sent her bridesmaids in a second video, with the hopes of normalising brides being more transparent.

The letter included dress suggestions, an outline of dates and costs for the bachelorette party, and specifications about which bridal events were ‘not mandatory’, ‘encouraged’ and ‘mandatory’.

The bride also answered ‘frequently asked questions’ about who else was in the bridal party, seating arrangements and other potential roles.

List of ‘expectations’ for bridesmaids
The letter answers frequently asked questions for the bridesmaids, including seating arrangements. Photos: TikTok/@lisalovesrandom

Users on TikTok applauded Lisa for being so honest with her friends, with some saying that they either have done or will do a similar thing.

“I understand that completely,” one follower commented. “One of my bridesmaids is having a baby this year and I asked her before I did a proposal if she wanted the role.”

“You’re saving my life here! I’ve been very stressed trying to figure out how to approach this. Thank you so much,” another added.

A third person wrote: “Very healthy way of going about the whole thing, I love this!”

“If I could go back in time I would do this! I think it probably would have saved from hurt feelings when some girls didn’t meet my expectations,” someone else said.

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