Therapist reveals 10 things you should know about your partner after 3 months

A relationship therapist from the US has revealed the 10 essential things one should know about their romantic partner after dating for three months.

Jeff Guenther, known as @TherapyJeff to his 1.2 million TikTok followers, has recently gone viral on the social media platform after he shared a video listing the important questions every couple should be able to answer in the early stages of their relationship.

A couple on a date in the park.
A relationship therapist has shared the 10 things you should know about your partner after three months of dating. Photo: Getty

Firstly, Jeff says it’s crucial that you know how often your partner wants to spend time with you.

“By now you shouldn’t be feeling uncertain about whether or not you’re going to see each other on the weekend,” he said in the video, which currently has over 1.4 million views.

Next, he said there should be some clarity into whether or not your relationship is exclusive or you’re still open to seeing other people.


The third question is about determining if your partner is “conflict-avoidant”.

“Even if there hasn’t been much disagreement yet, do they address things directly or sweep them under the rug?” he asked.

Jeff went on to say that you should have an understanding of each other’s stance on PDA - “Are you making out on the dance floor or are they only comfortable with holding hands in public?” - as well as how often you want to be texting each other.

“There’s a fine line between feeling connected and being overwhelmed,” he continued.

Relationship therapist Jeff Guenther.
‘There’s a fine line between feeling connected and being overwhelmed.’ Photos: TikTok/therapyjeff

Dealbreakers and must-haves

Another important issue to discuss by the three-month mark is where your partner falls on the political spectrum “because wherever it is says a lot about their values”.

He also said it’s essential to know if your relationship is a priority to them, and to determine within yourself if their bad habits are tolerable.

The final two things you must work out are whether you can trust the other person, and if you are aware of what their “dealbreakers and must-haves” are in a relationship.

“You don’t want to be thrown a curveball later on after you’re more attached and invested,” he concluded.

‘So important’

A number of Jeff’s followers have since taken to the comments on the video to praise his helpful advice and share their own experiences.

“These are great tips,” one person wrote. “Getting to know more details early on prevents hitting landmines at 7 months or 1 year. Ask more questions and get to know them!”

“YES! That political value is so important. I know so many people that disregard it as something mundane, even though it's not,” another added.

“I use the 3 month time as a deadline, if I'm not excited about moving forward, time to end things,” a third shared, to which Jeff replied, “I support this”.

Jeff’s 10 questions:

  1. How often do they want to see you?

  2. Are you exclusive or still open to seeing other people?

  3. Are they conflict-avoidant?

  4. What’s their stance on PDA?

  5. How often do they want to text during the day?

  6. Where do they fall on the political spectrum?

  7. Is this relationship a priority to them or do they value other things more?

  8. Are their bad habits tolerable?

  9. Can you trust this person?

  10. What are their dealbreakers and must-haves in a relationship?

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