Teddi Mellencamp Says Loneliness Is a 'Constant Ache' amid Divorce from Husband Edwin Arroyave: ‘So Much Shame’

Teddi Mellencamp is getting candid about her feelings after filing for divorce from Edwin Arroyave.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum, 43, shared on the latest episode of her Diamonds in the Rough podcast that she is still coming to terms with being apart from Arroyave, whom she split with in November after 13 years of marriage.

“I enjoy my alone time. I need to, like, recharge all of these things, but there's moments that I'm feeling now, where I feel really lonely,” Mellencamp said. “And I don't know if those loneliness feelings mean that I've made a mistake or this is just something I have to get used to, and this is, like, the new change in my life.”

Psychotherapist Dr. Nadine Macaluso, who was a guest on the show, then chimed in and asked the TV personality to elaborate more on her feelings of loneliness and encouraged her to explore where those feelings came from.

Related: Teddi Mellencamp Files for Divorce from Husband Edwin Arroyave 1 Day Before Announcing Their Split

“Teddi, I remember the loneliness being, like, painful. I remember it's like an ache,” Macaluso said. Mellencamp admitted, “it's a constant ache that I'm trying to, like, fake my way through.”

“... And there's shame too. Right? You mentioned shame,” Macaluso inquired, to which the reality star agreed, “So much shame.”

Mellencamp explained that “there's been a lot of ups and downs in my life,” which began from her childhood after her father, singer John Mellencamp, had an affair with her mother, and she didn’t want to pass down that chaos to her own children. She shares three children with Arroyave — Slate, 12, Cruz, 10 and Dove, 4.

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“... My only goal has ever been, like, I just wanna give my kids stability,” she shared. “And I don't know … if it's loneliness or I feel scared. I also don't feel like maybe I'm enough.”

Her words come two months after she announced her separation from Arroyave on Instagram. She filed for divorce the day before the announcement, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split.

“After a great deal of care and consideration, I have made the difficult decision to file for divorce,” she wrote in her statement. “My priority is my children and ensuring that every care is taken with their privacy and wellbeing throughout this new chapter.”

"Making a public statement is not something I wanted to do,” the Bravo alum continued, “But in an effort to protect my family from undue speculation and rumors, I have felt being open, honest, and vulnerable is the best path forward.”

Related: Teddi Mellencamp Spotted for the First Time Since Announcing Divorce from Edwin Arroyave

On Dec. 24, the Real Housewives alum shared a series of videos showing how she was doing since the split – including a clip of herself in pajamas singing "All By Myself,” which mimics a scene in Bridget Jones's Diary — and shared some insight into how she was feeling spending Christmas apart from her kids.

“First Christmas without my kids, and I know they’re in great hands with an amazing dad, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel some type of way,” she wrote, before sharing her plans for the day: “Ordered $74 of Thai food, eating cookie dough (who has time to bake) and watched 9 episodes of Lioness.”

As for Arroyave, he shared a cryptic Instagram Stories post on Nov. 3 about how he was adjusting to life on his own. A screenshot from an app that tracks sleep showed he had received nine hours and 10 minutes of sleep, with an "optimal" sleep score.

"I recently spoke about just getting 3 hours of sleep a night,” he wrote in a caption. "Finally got some rest!"

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