Should you tell your partner if you don't like your engagement ring?

Congrats! You did it! You got engaged. Your family can't believe it. Your Grandma is weeping because she was scared you'd die alone! Your friends are already planning your hens, baby shower, and everything in between! Except there's one problem... you absolutely hate the engagement ring.

So what do you do? Do you tell your partner, do you pretend for the rest of your life that you love it, or do you conveniently "lose" it the next time you go swimming in a vast body of water where it can't possibly be found again?

It was a question posed on a Reddit thread recently, and also by TV journalist and The Cut Jewellery founder Talitha Cummins who asked her following on social media: should you tell your partner if you really don't like your engagement ring?

On Reddit, one user said her proposal was perfect, minus that one glaring issue: she hated her ring. "I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with this man, but… I don’t like my ring. I don’t like white stones and I’m not the biggest fan of the round cut. It’s just not my style," she said.

Going on to say she feels horrible and has been crying with "a ball of anxiety in my stomach" she asked people how she should move forward. "Do I just suck it up and learn to love the ring, or do I tell him? And if so, how do I bring it up in the most kind, respectful way possible? I’m worried I’ll hurt his feelings. He’s already asked me if I like the ring and I lied. I know I shouldn’t have, but he just looked so happy and I didn’t want to hurt him," she said.

Should you tell your partner if you hate your engagement ring?

The advice on the Reddit thread encouraged the poster to be honest with her partner, and she updated the thread later to say she had told him the truth.

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"Your encouragement gave me the confidence I needed. I spoke with him and told him that our engagement has made me happier than ever and that while the ring is beautiful, it's just not quite my style. He was very sweet and understanding, and assured me that it was alright. I suggested we find a ring that comes with matching wedding bands for the both of us and he seemed very receptive to that idea," she said.

In the poll by Cut Jewellery, the new lab-grown company by Talitha, 81% of people said it was ok to tell your partner if you don't like the ring.

“I think it would kill the mood, maybe wait a year and then keep the diamond but work on a new setting together," one person said.

Others said there was no way they'd let their partners shop for the engagement ring by themselves in the first place.

“There’s no way I’d let him shop for the ring by himself - it’s something I will have to wear forever and I need to have a say in that," someone commented.

There were some who deemed it rude to tell your partner if you weren't a fan of the ring. “I think it would be rude to tell someone you didn’t like their gift! Never," one person said.

How choosing engagement rings has changed in recent times

Talitha, who founded Cut Jewellery in 2023, said she's had many women quietly tell her their ring isn't exactly what they would've chosen themselves, but that they'd never say anything to their partners.

"I think if you are going to have this conversation with your partner, it needs to be done with tact and diplomacy. It depends on their sensitivity - some could be very offended!" she said.

"The positive is that if you have a centre stone, it can be removed from the existing setting and reset into a different setting.

"I feel like this situation is mitigated as most engagement ring shopping is happening with both partners present now. Most engagement shopping happens with the couple, they come in, have a glass of champagne and enjoy the experience and it becomes part of their engagement story."

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