‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’: Dorit’s Marriage Implodes Before Our Eyes

From accusing Lisa Rinna of a pill addiction to that time they dressed as bank robbers for a confessional, Bravo’s most illustrious couple have given us so much to talk about. Sadly, the ever-inspiring love story of PK and Dorit Kemsley has come to a tragic end.

Truly, you would think Dorit and PK died a horrific death from the way this week’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins. It’s the most random, avant garde edit. Someone on the editing team must’ve needed some footage for their production reel, and they sure got it.

RHOBH has hit reset on the endless carousel of Dorit vs. Kyle drama to offer a palate cleanser that carries us spectacularly into the second half of the season.

Not only does this episode feature the return of Kathy Hilton, but it also follows half the cast on a trip to Augusta, Georgia to visit Sutton’s hometown. There’s nothing like some Southern Hospitality (airing Thursdays at 9/8C on Bravo #notanad) to whip these ladies into shape.

Just take one look at Sutton’s mother, Reba, a pixie-cut diva with the scariest stare you’ve ever seen, and it’s clear we’ve traversed far from Beverly Hills. It’s also clear why Sutton is “like that,” so to speak, pretty quickly. I can only imagine how callous Reba’s reaction to Dorit’s robbery would have been.

The episode feels very old-school Housewives in the best way. Sometimes, it’s nice to ditch the high-octane drama for some low-stakes storyline building. It’s the kind of thing we once got often, but has trickled by the wayside as solo footage becomes more and more frivolous.

Sutton has had an interesting go of it on that end, too. From filming Season 10 as a Housewife and then getting demoted, to filming Season 11 as a friend and getting promoted, Sutton lost out on the traditional introduction a Housewife receives. We were tossed right in the deep end with her and her blunt bangs, admonishing Dorit’s Fenty while scoffing at Teddi’s pregnancy. It was awesome.

But it’s even cooler filling in the blanks of the Sutton Stracke Experience. Of course her Augusta residence is connected to her mother’s by a narrow walkway. Of course her mother doesn’t know how to say thank you to a simple gift, even if what Garcelle gave her was kind of ugly. And of course Reba takes glee in calling one of Sutton’s kids a weirdo, to which Sutton makes very clear he sits at the cool kids table.

Sweet Home Suttonbama is the kind of entertainment I need. It’s like every tidbit we’re learning has been in my mind for years, just waiting to be activated. Really, could Sutton have grown up any other way?

Ever since we saw a glimpse of Reba in a Season 11 flashback, I’ve been salivating to see more of her. With Dallas canceled and Candiace Dillard-Bassett off Potomac, we’ve needed a diva to fill that motherly void.

“I’m very much, like, heart-on-my-sleeve kind of person. I’ve always been like that. Whereas my mother, I don’t know if she has feelings,” Sutton shares with the girls at the local Greek-Italian restaurant, Luigi’s.

It’s an even more scintillating info drop that Sutton’s jumbo divorce settlement came after much prodding from Reba, who wanted it ensured she’d be well taken care of. We’re just weeks away from finding out Reba used to lock Sutton in the attic with the mice while she and the evil step-sisters went to the ball.

Next week, Reba is going to launch a feud with Garcelle in a one-on-one sitdown more exciting than anything else that’s aired all year. That’s not an indictment of this season at all, by the way. It’s praise for the funniest feud since Brooks Marks vs. Jen Shah. I’m obsessed with Reba.

Back in Beverly Hills, the implosion of Dorit’s marriage has taken center stage. Despite PK’s love for texting Kyle memes, he’s essentially gone no-contact on Dorit. Our child of the world has started to realize she’s not in Act One of the story, but right at the end. PK is divorcing her, ditching the show, and taking refuge in the UK while Dorit films all her scenes with emotional support bestie, Boz.

With half the cast down South, Kathy hosts the remaining ladies for a dinner inspired by her trip to Capri, Italy. It’s a nice touch that her confessionals have her in a lemon blouse, too. Kathy Hilton is best used as an off-putting side character who terrorizes her castmates with heart emojis, but if we can’t get that, I’ll take lemon dinner parties.

It’s actually the second time Capri has inspired a Beverly Hills Housewife, following Dorit’s Capri Room in the ill-fated Buca di Beppo. Dorit should throw a divorce party in the Capri Room, which recently survived the restaurant chain’s bankruptcy, according to the Daily Mail. It’s good to know some people are still doing real journalism.

At dinner, Boz does some great work, asking Kathy if Kyle is cold and dismissive to everyone, or if that’s just her read. Kathy—ever the amazing sister—says she “treads lightly” with Kyle. She is a Capricorn, after all.

Meanwhile, Dorit excitedly announces to the class that her life is “pretty s----y” right now. She’s obsessed with entering an event and dumping her dirt on anyone who will listen. I just know Dorit’s had the conversation of a lifetime smoking a cig with a stranger in a back alley.

She’s going scorched Earth, and it’s amazing. Her excitedly telling Kathy “wrong!” when asked if he’s a good father is the kind of Dorit moment that makes her a mother to many. Kathy was out here giving him a little PR moment and she torched it beautifully.

Dorit’s one-woman play has no time for a PK redemption story. People are finally listening to her diatribes, and she’s milking that for all its worth. Apparently, PK sent Dorit a seven-page email informing her she will have to cover all her own finances going forward, showing he too knows how to be long-winded.

The gloves are off *Vicki Gunvalson whoosh* and it’s time for the Kemsleys to go to war. The stakes would feel higher if their financial situation wasn’t all smoke and mirrors. The sunny streets have implied the Kemsley home is in pre-foreclosure, so it’s not clear what financial situation PK’s trying to protect by wrapping the divorce up before California’s 10-year statute kicks in, but I digress. It’s more fun to pretend there’s something on the line.

Erika’s certainly getting her acting chops in, offering up a monologue while Bozoma vies for Best Supporting Actress with her gasps and groans.

“Dorit, I worry about you. I really do. And I’m sorry you’re going through this. But I cannot sit here and bulls--- with you when I know what’s coming for you. I wouldn’t be a good friend. You’ve begged for honesty and I’m gonna give it to you. You have to protect yourself,” Erika Streep says.

“You have to go, ‘Hold on a second. The price of poker has completely changed. This is not my partner. This is not my friend. This is my adversary now.’ And let me tell you, that is a f---ed up place, as I have hair on my arms right now… That is a f---ed up place to be, but that is where you are. And I don’t know any other way to say that to you. You have to be proactive. I’m telling you right now, if you don’t make these decisions, life will make them for you.”

I’d like to see Nicole Kidman in a botched wig playing Dorit for the inevitable Watch What Happens Live reenactment.

While Dorit’s one-woman show stole the episode, hers isn’t the only relationship getting an update. We finally get a closer peek at Boz’s relationship this week, as she and her leopard print boyfriend sit down to discuss her fertility journey.

I’m not sure I’m really buying this storyline, nor am I feeling this man, but it’s nice to see more of Boz than just the Dorit hype woman. She really has a great screen presence.

Finally, Kyle and Mauricio hit up a gun range together so Kyle can learn how to defend herself. The thought of Kyle Richards with a gun is a truly petrifying one given she’s too anxious to use the TV remote, but sure. Learn how to shoot.

Kyle divorce footage is such a turnaround this year, and it’s really missing that Morgan Wade touch to bring it all together. But it’s still nice to see Mauricio every now and again so we can reminisce about how much things have changed. Have we seen the little flashback reel of that Christmas card, anniversary dinner, and stairwell photoshoot a million times before? Yeah, but if there’s one thing the editors of RHOBH love, it’s a flashback.

You’d think Kyle and Mauricio would get the hyper-dramatic in memoriam edit, but alas. They could never deliver a story as riveting as Dorit and PK.