Yahoo Lifestyle Quotes of the Week: Grey’s, Chicago Med, Survivor, SEAL Team and More
The fall TV season is officially underway, and what better way to celebrate than with a lively edition of TVLine’s Quotes of the Week?
In the list below — which features our picks for TV’s most memorable sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly two dozen shows represented, including Murder in a Small Town, Chicago Med, Survivor, The Golden Bachelorette, SEAL Team, Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story and more.
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Also featured in this week’s roundup: Dancing With the Stars, Tulsa King, Fight Night: The Million Dollar Heist, and double doses of The Daily Show, Only Murders in the Building, Grey’s Anatomy and Agatha All Along. Plus, a rare triple dose (!) from The Voice.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Vlada Gelman, Rebecca Iannucci, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING
“I’ll have you know that I directed Singin’ in the Rain 2 for VH1 in ’88. The town is still talking about it. Gary Busey was in it and he stole all the cameras.”
To have been a fly on the wall of Oliver’s (Martin Short) made-for-TV movie…
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (Bonus Quote!)
“In Season 8 of Desperate Housewives, I told them I wouldn’t return unless they legalized gay marriage. And guess what? They did. You’re welcome, gays!”
“Eva Longoria” reveals how she once used her celebrity to make herstory
SURVIVOR
“Did I see you putting some rice in your pocket?”
“You didn’t see anything, Jeff!”
“Unbelievable. Empty your pockets!”
The Gata tribe’s Rachel gets a jovial scolding from Jeff Probst after trying to sneak some rice out of the immunity challenge
THE DAILY SHOW
“It’s not true that all women are poorer [under Biden]. E. Jean Carroll seems to be doing pretty well.”
THE DAILY SHOW (Bonus Quote!)
“Yes, it is ridiculous that Trump is asking to see Kamala’s ‘burger certificate.’ This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about. It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.”
SEAL TEAM
“All in, all the time, boss.”
Drew (Beau Knapp) invited a beating in order to buy his Bravo brothers some time
MONSTERS: THE LYLE AND ERIK MENENDEZ STORY (Episode 6)
“You know what I think when you complain that I hit you? I think that I didn’t hit you hard enough, Lyle, the way my father hit me. He hit me so hard, my head would throb for days and days. I mean, it was f—king painful. But I knew exactly what was expected of me. So as a father that loves you, Lyle, I’m really sorry I didn’t hit you hard enough. That is my fault, and I’m sorry.”
Jose (Javier Bardem) offers his son a one-of-a-kind apology
MONSTERS: THE LYLE AND ERIK MENENDEZ STORY (Episode 8)
“I’m not gay, Lyle.”
“Well, ya f—ked us!”
Lyle (Nicholas Alexander Chavez) expresses his dissatisfaction with the testimony given by brother Erik (Cooper Koch)
NFL ON CBS
“Don’t miss the sneak peek premiere of the next great CBS mystery, Matlock, tonight after 60 Minutes. Now you’re looking at Scott Matlock. It’s not his show, although he’s on the case for the Chargers in a lot of different facets — special teams, offense, defense.”
Jim Nantz makes a seamless transition when handed the perfect in-game shot
TULSA KING
“This seat is tight, like a premature burial.”
“Better than a cell.”
“But this car, it’s too quiet.”
“Well, you make up for that.”
Dwight (Sylvester Stallone) isn’t a fan of the new, compact car Tina (Tatiana Zappardino) chose
THE VOICE
“I have spent most of my life wanting to know what Snoop Dogg tastes like, so I went and bought these.”
Michael Bublé chows down on his fellow newbie coach’s Rap Snacks potato chips — and decides, “Dude, you are flavorful”
THE VOICE (Bonus Quote!)
“I don’t know what you just did, but I know I have the munchies.”
The special effects accompanying Snoop’s accusation that his fellow coaches are blowing smoke has a profound effect on Bublé
THE VOICE (Bonus Quote!)
“That’s so cute. I’m actually taking a Claritin right now.”
Bublé is given “paws” by Gwen Stefani’s use of a kitten as a prop
FIGHT NIGHT: THE MILLION DOLLAR HEIST
“So you owe me for my cash money, my jewels, and for the emotional distress that I went through when those n—ers f–ked up my press and curl.”
The well-coiffed Missouri Slim (David Banner) details Vivian’s “inherited” 50K debt
THE GOLDEN BACHELORETTE
“It was very startling to wake up to a naked Frenchman punching me. On the other hand, I can’t say that’s the first time that’s happened.”
Gregg’s reaction to Pascal’s manner of stopping him from snoring has us wanting to know a lot more about Gregg’s past
NOBODY WANTS THIS (Episode 2)
“Does my brother not look like he could control the media?”
“Because I’ll have you know, there are very, very attractive Jews in the world. Paul Rudd. You might not even know that.”
“Have you ever seen young Mandy Patinkin? I’m getting a half-sandwich just thinking about him.”
“Old Mandy Patinkin, I would take.”
Sasha (Timothy Simons) and Noah (Adam Brody) give Morgan a hard time after she remarks that Rabbi Noah is cuter than she expected and that he doesn’t look that Jewish
NOBODY WANTS THIS (Episode 4)
“Rebecca’s not on Instagram.”
“Wait, how do people know that she goes on vacation?”
Ashley (Sherry Cola) and Morgan (Justine Lupe) can’t wrap their head around the idea that Noah’s ex isn’t on social media
CHICAGO MED
“We’re on a break.”
“Like a Ross and Rachel break, or a Brad and Angelina break?”
Nurse Doris (Lorena Diaz) tries to suss out Hannah (Jessy Schram) and Ripley’s relationship status
GREY’S ANATOMY
“You’re threatening me over your health?”
“I’ve blackmailed people over far less.”
And just like that, Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Catherine (Debbie Allen) reach an understanding… of sorts
GREY’S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)
“You’re turning down fries… and wine?”
Ding-ding-ding! Link (Chris Carmack) figures out that Jo is expecting
RESCUE-HI SURF
“I thought I had you there for a second.”
“Really…? I didn’t.”
Kai (Alex Aiono) tries/fails to save face after getting smoked in a race by Hina (Zoe Cipres)
MURDER IN A SMALL TOWN
“Anything else from me?”
“Some deodorant would be nice.”
“[Off Sid sniffing his pits] For me, Sid. You smell as fresh as a mountain morning.”
Karl (Rossif Sutherland) rolls into work after a very long night of nookie and then surreptitious snooping
AGATHA ALL ALONG
“Oh my God! No! This came from Talbots, you can’t have it!”
Sharon (Debra Jo Rupp) refuses to let the Witches’ Road consume her quality handbag
AGATHA ALL ALONG (Bonus Quote!)
“What is this? A wedding? Please, God, not a baby shower.”
Before realizing she and her coven have been invited to the Road’s first trial, Agatha (Kathryn Hahn) hopes the cardstock isn’t advertising any brunchy celebrations
DANCING WITH THE STARS
“And Anna, what are you going to take away from this competition?”
“Nothing.”
Just when we thought last week’s “I’m happy I don’t have to do that dance again” comment would be Anna Delvey’s bluntest remark, she proves us wrong with this one-word kiss-off after getting eliminated
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