Yahoo Lifestyle Nikki Glaser’s Cut Golden Globes Jokes Skewer Alec Baldwin, Luigi Mangione and More: ‘The Wild Robot’ Is ‘Nicole Kidman After Two White Wines’
Nikki Glaser earned widespread acclaim for her hosting duties at the 2025 Golden Globes, where her monologue poked fun at Diddy, Ben Affleck and Timothée Chalamet’s mustache. But what about the jokes that didn’t make it to air? Glaser appeared on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio the morning after the awards ceremony (via US Weekly) to share some of the harsher punchlines she decided not to say on live television.
When it came to Diddy, the disgraced music mogul accused of rape and sex trafficking, Glaser had this joke cut from the monologue: “This is the last time all of you will be the same room together until the Diddy trial.” Why? “We had another Diddy mention that worked better…and you only get one Diddy mention. You’re also accusing the people in the room of being involved in that, and they might turn on you.”
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Glaser did end up addressing the Diddy scandal on air by joking that “Challengers” was “more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card!” She added: “I’m sorry, I’m upset too. The after-party isn’t going to be as good this year, but we have to move on. ‘Stanley Tucci freak-off’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil.”
Another cut joke would’ve roasted the Catholic Church: “I loved ‘Conclave.’ It’s about the choosing a new pope. It was heartwarming. It will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Hot tip: You don’t need ID to get into the Conclave after party.”
Glaser explained that “we didn’t do those because they were Catholic Church pedophile jokes — we’ve all heard them, we don’t need more of that.”
While Glaser did make an Adrien Brody joke on air by calling him a “two-time Holocaust survivor” (nodding to his award-winning roles in “The Pianist” and “The Brutalist”), she cut a second part to the joke: “If Adrien Brody could go back in time, he would thank baby Hitler for his career.”
“I loved that one such much,” Glaser said. “But my assistant is Gen Z and she was like, ‘I don’t get it.’ We’re going to lose a whole generation on that joke, and then I’ve said ‘Hitler’ for nothing.”
Glaser also cut a joke related to Luigi Mangione, the suspect charged with murder in the shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson: “Glen Powell is nominated tonight for ‘Hit Man.’ Who would have thought you’d only be the second-hottest hit man in America?”
The comedian did end up cracking lighthearted jokes about nominees Nicole Kidman and Timothée Chalamet in her monologue, but she originally had much riskier punchlines in store for the two of them.
Glaser cut this Kidman joke: “’The Wild Robot’ is nominated tonight — and by that I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines.” She wanted to tell it during the monologue but worried Kidman might not have the best reaction.
As far as Chalamet, Glaser went for roasting the actor’s mustache and not this Bob Dylan quip: “Timothée Chalamet took lessons in guitar, dialect, movement and vocals to become Bob Dylan [in A Complete Unknown]. While Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way: heroin and autism.”
But perhaps Glaser’s smartest decision was not telling an Alec Baldwin “Rust” joke as it pertained to the death of cinematographer Haylna Hutchins: “Michael Keaton was so great in ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.’ And Alec Baldwin sadly did not come back to play a ghost because he was too busy making them.”
“Please know that I know that was not nice,” Glaser stressed. “It’s such a great joke, but it’s just too mean.”
Glaser earned uproarious laughter during her monologue for joking about how “Wicked,” “Queer” and “Nightbitch” are “words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms.” But she cut this Affleck joke: “Here’s Ben Affleck. I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next.”
She also decided not to roast Matt Gaetz with this joke: “The film ‘Anora’ is nominated for four awards tonight. It’s been called the most unflinching look at sex work since Matt Gaetz’s payment history.”
One box office flop Glaser did target during the ceremony was “Joker: Folie à Deux” by asking the audience: “Where is their table? Oh, that’s right, they’re not here.” But this was the far more blunt version of the joke that was cut: “I saw ‘Joker 2’ and, you know, it reminded me of when the first Joker came out and I was in the theaters and I was afraid someone was going to shoot it up. And then during ‘Joker 2,’ I was really hoping they would.”
The jokes Glaser did make during her Golden Globes hosting stint were widely praised, so much so that the broadcast’s executive producer Glenn Weiss told Variety that the Globes team would be open for Glaser returning.
“We absolutely had a great experience with her, and think that she would be great at this in the long term,” Glenn Weiss said.
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