Neighbours fans were left shaken to their core when the revived series premiered again, ending the episode with longtime fave Toadfish Rebecchi getting married for what appears to be the 107th time.
I must confess, I've always been a Summer Bay girlie. But what I've learned about Neighbours over my years as an entertainment journalist is that Toadie Rebecchi has a thriving love life.
(And it also sounds like he's been hit by a car numerous times, so he may not know how to cross a road and/or drive a car.)
But back to Toadie's love life: after Neighbours ended its run last year, the series saw Toadie get his happily ever after with Melanie.
Fast-forward a year (or two years in Erinsborough time) and the Neighbours reboot has Toadie waiting happily down the end of the aisle (again) ready to tie the knot with Terese.
Toadie's dating history makes mine look like I've joined a nunnery and made a pledge to the Virgin Mary. From what I can gather he's been engaged multiple times, been married at least four times, renewed vows, and two wives have died (although one returned, as did her mysterious twin sister).
He's also fathered numerous children, despite his low sperm count (I learned that against my will), and now he's strutting back down the aisle again, sixth time lucky or some bulls***.
This begs the question: Can Toadfish Rebecchi actually be OK on his own?
It's an age-old question that plagues the group chats of me and my single female friends when it comes to talking about men. (No, not if Toadie can be alone, we don't really give a s*** about that.)
But as we navigate our 30s in modern-day dating culture, patiently awaiting the first wave of divorcees, it seems to be increasingly common that many heterosexual men aren't very good at being on their own. I've heard these days men can cook, iron, and even clean. Sometimes they even smile when doing it. But are they good at sitting with their thoughts or processing their feelings without leaning on, or being distracted by a woman? Not usually.
Enter Toadie again. That man has been through more trauma than any human could really survive. He's lost wives, he's been paralysed, he's been in car crashes, he's been held hostage, his wives have been held hostage. He's found long-lost kids, which would have been very surprising to him I imagine, given his dire sperm count.
And now you're telling me this man, in the space of two small years, has been married, divorced, and is getting married AGAIN?
Firstly, in this economy? Weddings are expensive and this man has been probably reusing his vows for about 20 years straight at this point. How he still even believes in the concept of marriage is beyond me.
Secondly, two years is not a long time in modern dating culture to go through a wedding, divorce, and another wedding, when you've already done this process so many times in your life that you have to use two hands to count it.
Has Toadie ever thought about therapy? Has he ever tried to heal his inner child? Has he realised by now a cold ring around his wedding finger doesn't necessarily heal the cold void within his heart? Has he had his hoe phase on Tinder? Has he uploaded a pic with a fish? Has he found himself on a European getaway? Has he tried just being on his own, simply for at least a few months?
Toadfish Rebecchi, yes a man called Toadfish, has been spraying his rizz all over women for decades now (get your mind out of the gutter) and yet, most single women and men I know these days can't even get a text back on a dating app.
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