MAFS' Jules reveals secret time apart from husband Cam: 'I lay there sobbing'

Married At First Sight’s Jules Robinson has revealed how her struggle with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) became so hard that she was forced to briefly separate from her husband Cameron Merchant and son Ollie to check into a women’s retreat overseas.

In her new book, Ask Jules, the former reality star explained that she was suffering from so much “burnout and exhaustion” whilst navigating life as a business owner and new mother that she decided to remain in Bali alone after a two-week family holiday came to an end in November 2022.

Speaking of her decision to let Cam and Ollie return to Australia without her as she grappled to understand her recent PMDD diagnosis, Jules writes: “It’s not just feeling a bit moody; it’s a real disruption to your daily life and it can seriously impact your relationships and overall wellbeing. I personally feel in these moments that I can’t deal with life. It all just feels too hard and too much, until it miraculously passes and I’m back to my sparkly self, grabbing life by the horns.”

What is PMDD? Jules' secret battle

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and can cause irritability, depression, or anxiety.

Jules explained that she initially planned on spending just one week in Bali alone in a private retreat, but as she then prepared to board a flight home she wasn’t ready to return to her family.

“The day I left for the airport to go home, I was feeling incredibly out of sorts. I had had the most beautiful week of solitude at Escape Haven. I knew my time was up, but something felt like it was pulling me back,” Jules writes.

The shapewear brand owner explained that when Cam texted her 30 minutes before her flight was due to leave, she responded “I just… don’t think I want to come home” and raced back to the retreat whilst crying.

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“I returned to the retreat with ‘Welcome home, Jules’ written on the bed with flowers. I was safe here. I felt proud that I had done what I needed to do for me, but the darkness of PMDD was surging through me. I lay there sobbing, but feeling blessed that I have a best friend like Cam who supports me and my needs.”

At the time, Jules explained that although she was so thankful for Cam’s support, their different parenting styles and the response from fans added to her struggles.

“I worried that my husband was sometimes oversharing everything he was doing with our son on social media, which always came back to me. People would send me messages telling me to go home to my child, asking, ‘why is your husband always with your baby?’” Jules writes, addressing the “shaming” many working mothers face in their lives.

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In her book, Jules added that she is proud to be talking about PMDD publicly and hopes to raise awareness of the issue that affects so many women.

Jules and Cam met on the 2019 season of MAFS and went on to have son Ollie in 2020. Jules is due to give birth to the couple's second child sometime this winter.

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