Yahoo Lifestyle Here's what *not* to wear to a wedding, according to an etiquette expert
Weddings these days have fewer and fewer fashion rules than in decades past – which can be great, but it also makes things a tad more complicated. Many of today's brides are passing on traditional wedding dresses in favour of short gowns, bridal jumpsuits, chic trouser suits and shopping the high street to help their budget stretch further elsewhere. Even bridesmaids are ditching the cookie-cutter dresses for something they can wear again and again.
This means guests *also* have just as much freedom with their style choices. But before you whip on any old outfit and call it a day, there are a few things to remember in order to still be respectful of the ceremony and the people getting married. Some of the rules are pretty straightforward and easy to follow (e.g., what colours to avoid), while others require a little more outfit planning – like figuring out what the heck ‘semi-formal wedding attire’ means.
To make sure you really nail it on the big day (well, not *your* big day, but you know what we mean), we tapped Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, to give us the low-down on some spoken and unspoken fashion rules.
Keep reading for her advice about what not to wear to a wedding, plus some stylish wedding guest dresses you could wear instead. After this, you'll be ready to handle any dress code request that's thrown your way. Promise.
Prepare to navigate wedding szn in style!
1. Avoid wearing white... or white-ish colours
Avoiding white should be a no-brainer, but it still bears saying – unless the bride has specifically requested that guests wear the colourway, of course. The rule also applies to similar shades. We're talking off-white, cream, white-backed floral prints, anything with a white lace overlay, or really, really pale blues and yellows. Confused about the latter? Lighter colours can sometimes appear as white in photographs, depending on the lighting. Not worth the risk, IMO. (Knowing how your look will photograph is just a general thing to be aware of, BTW.)
Want to wear something close to white? Try a neutral like gold or brown that have a warmth and depth.
2. Try to stay away from the bridal party's colours (if possible)
Showing up and accidentally looking like a bridesmaid can be quite embarrassing. Luckily, there are steps you can take to try and avoid doing this. “You can tell what the colour scheme for the wedding is from the invitation or the wedding website, which gives an idea of what direction the couple might be going,” advises Swann. If you're still unsure, you can always ask the bride herself or one of her bridesmaids.
Want a safe bet? While not unheard of, floral prints are still pretty niche when it comes to bridesmaid dresses, so opting for a brightly patterned or printed dress should ensure you're in the clear. Just make sure it's not a white-backed print so you're not breaking rule number one 😉
3. Consider the season
Aligning your look to the temperature is key for fitting in with everyone else and also feeling comfortable. Think: long sleeves for autumn, thicker fabrics like velvet for winter, pastels for spring and lighter fabrics, like cotton and linen, for summer.
4. Lean towards dressing up, even for ‘casual‘ weddings
Even if the wedding has a more low-key dress code, don't even think about showing up in a t-shirt and jeans. We promise you, it's never that casual. “If you have to choose between being underdressed or overdressed, it's always better to be overdressed,” Swann explains, paraphrasing the classic idiom. After all, this is someone's special day so it's nice to make an effort and show you recognise that.
If you're truly baffled by the dress code and have no idea what to wear, you should absolutely reach out for help. “I encourage people to embrace that awkward moment and ask for an example from someone in the wedding party, whether it's the bride, the groom, or the bridal party.”
A simple summer dress – or a knit equivalent for winter weddings – is perfect, with leopard print working year-round. You're not showing up in a ball gown and can dress your look up with your footwear and accessories.
5. Trousers aren't a no-go, so as long as you wear as part of a suit
So you wanna wear trousers? Totally fine! Just make sure they still seem dressy enough. The easiest route is opting for a suit – pairing your trews with a waistcoat, blazer or both! A silky blouse or camisole top is also an option for wearing on your top half to nail the wedding guest vibe.
The same rules apply for dressing to the season here. There are tons of gorge powder blue and butter yellow trouser suits just made for spring and summer weddings, while you can't go wrong with a luxe navy co-ord for winter nuptials.
6. Cover your shoulders for religious ceremonies
Is the ceremony taking place in a church or in a religious institution with a more modest dress code? Swann says, above all, it's important to remember that weddings are a sacred occasion. Be respectful of where the vows are being exchanged, and you can always bring a shawl or cardigan to cover yourself.
This simple ribbed cardi would do the trick.
7. Keep an eye on your neckline
“You certainly don't have to wear something that is old fashioned – you can stay on trend,” Swann says. “But, remember that part of the wedding itself may be a very religious occasion as well, so there is some modesty that could be expected.” Plus, you don't want to risk overshadowing the bride if you turn up wearing a seriously plunging neckline or major cut-outs à la Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber. This isn't your day.
Not saying don't do a deep V, just don't be asking “How low can you go?” This Omnes dress ticks both the low-cut neckline and cut-out boxes that should still work and be wedding-appropriate.
8. Go for subtle statements
People love to say, ‘Don't outshine the bride.’ But, unless you're showing up in another wedding dress (a BIG no no, obvs), it's really hard to do that. Everyone knows who the spotlight is supposed to be on, so you should feel free to wear something you think is really special, even if that's a bold colour or silhouette.
Just keep the event at hand in mind. “There's a difference between wearing a cocktail dress that's really cute for the club and wearing a cocktail dress that's meant for a wedding,” Swann explains. As long as you think your outfit will be on par with everyone else's (just a little more fabulous, because they wish), you should be good.
9. Go for understated sparkle!
Unless it is a black-tie event, it's all about lowkey glitz and glam. Instead of over-the-top sequins, try low-key crystals or other textures like ruffles, lace, or plissé for a look that stands out, but doesn't mimic a disco ball.
10. Keep the dress code in mind.
Read the room (or, um, the invitation): Don’t wear a tux or a ballgown to a backyard wedding – in that case, it’s better to keep it a little more low-key.
Swann also says the location is a big clue for what you should wear. “For example, if it's a destination wedding, then you know that you'd be wearing resort-style attire,” she says. “If it's going to take place at a high-end hotel, then that'll give you an idea of the theme.”
The other indicator that helps determine your style is the time of day the ceremony is taking place. “Earlier in the day, you're going to find that the attire is going to be less formal, which means more bright colours and flowy fabrics. Later in the evening is when you'll get to that formal attire where you have black and gold hues, beads, and sparkles.” Of course, this is all generally speaking, but these are good guidelines to follow.
11. Be strategic about your choice of shoes.
Comfort is important, especially if you plan on turning up on the dance floor. But wearing flip flops to the ceremony? Probably not the move, unless it's a casual, toes-in-the-sand beach wedding. If you know there is going to be a long walk from one point to another throughout the festivities, Swann says comfy flat shoes (flip flops or otherwise) that you can slip in and out of quickly might be good to bring – but only for those in between moments!
Also, if any part of the day is happening on grass, Swann suggests wearing wedges or shoes with a wider or flared heel so you won't sink in the ground when you walk. “Get that information in advance, and don't feel as though you're bothering the couple or bothering the party by asking these sorts of questions—they want you to be comfortable” Swann says.
You Might Also Like
