Groom-to-be discovers fiancée's 'awful' plan before wedding

·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·4-min read

A groom-to-be has consulted the Internet after realising something a little unsettling about his wedding day.

Taking to Reddit's Am I the A**hole subreddit, he shared how before he and his fiancée met, she was engaged, but three weeks before she and her partner were able to get married, he sadly passed away.

A groom has taken to Reddit to question whether he's in the wrong after discovering his fiancée's 'awful' plan for their big day. Photo: Getty
A groom has taken to Reddit to question whether he's in the wrong after discovering his fiancée's 'awful' plan for their big day. Photo: Getty

Now the poster and his fiancée are planning their wedding, she has revealed she wants to get married on the same date she was originally meant to be get married.

"We didn’t have any issues until my fiancée and I started planning for our wedding,” he explained. "She suggested a specific date. And I had several reasons to not agree. One of them is that my mom is recovering from major surgery and since she’s my remaining family I want her there with me.

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"My fiancée kept insisting and refused to compromise. But I was surprised when my brother-in-law contacted me saying his sister’s been sending out invitations with the date she picked. He then told me the reason his sister insisted on this specific date is because this was the exact date she and her late fiancé were going to get married. But it didn’t happen."

After confronting his fiancée about the date, she said she wouldn't budge.

"She defended herself saying she didn’t think it’d matter if I knew this is the date when she and her late fiancé were getting married,” he wrote. “I said it matters to me. And she shouldn’t send out invitations without even telling me.

The man postponed the wedding, with many commenters suggesting his partner needs grief counselling. Photo: Getty
The man postponed the wedding, with many commenters suggesting his partner needs grief counselling. Photo: Getty

"I ended up sending everyone who received an invitation an email stating that the wedding is officially postponed. I didn’t give the real reason why but I did apologize. She let everyone know and everyone [has] been criticizing my stance calling me ridiculous and inconsiderate to postpone for a pathetic reason like that."

Commenters, however, were on his side with one user write, "How did she think this would go down? His mom can't make that day, he's said no, but if I just do it anyway then he'll have no choice? Wtf kind of relationship is that?"

"NTA [not the a**hole]. Cancel the wedding," another added. "She's simply awful. And don't make it about the fact that it's her wedding date with her ex. Simply repeat to anyone who asks that she disregarded your wishes to pick a date your mother could attend and sent out the invitations anyway. You don't get to treat someone like that. She doesn't deserve a life partner at this stage."

"It’s straight-up creepy," someone else agreed. "This is YOUR wedding also, therefore you get a say, especially about having your mum there. You can’t compete with her dead fiancé so you’re smart to postpone/cancel this train-wreck. NTA."

"Never marry someone that sees you as a replacement of their late SO, who refuses to talk about them, and hasn't sought grief counselling," another wrote.

"NTA. I apologise for being harsh but I don't think your partner truly loves you," someone else said. "She loves the idea of you but isn't thinking about what's in the best interests of you as an individual or you as the person she may very well spend the rest of her life with."

"Clearly she has not dealt with the loss of her ex-partner. She needs help but also has a family that enables her maladaptive coping strategies," they added, saying the poster "deserves a bigger, better love than this".

Others said they were seeing major "red flags" in the poster's story.

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