Goldie Hawn Recalls Becoming Anxious, Having Panic Attacks After Landing Her First Role: 'The Scariest Thing'
The actress told Hoda Kotb that she struggled with anxiety when she landed her first big break
As her career began to take off in the 1960s, Goldie Hawn says she began struggling with her mental health.
Right as she landed her first big role — on the short-lived 1967 sitcom Good Morning World — Hawn, now 78, “became anxious and I had little panic attacks,” she shared on the Nov. 20th episode of Making Space with Hoda Kotb.
Hawn said that the part had been written for her, but deep down, "I didn't want to do that. I was a dancer." But, she added, "I was just getting my feet wet."
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"I called home. And I said, 'Mommy, you're not gonna believe this. You know, they wrote a part for me.' And then I became anxious, and I had little panic attacks," the Death Becomes Her star said. “I realized that every time I’d go into a restaurant or a place, I’d get dizzy, and I would want to go home.”
"I was a happy kid ... Nothing bothered me. I was joyful," Hawn continued, sharing that as her career blossomed, “I didn’t know what happened to my joy … I tried to fake my smile. I’ll never forget that. It’s the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.”
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While filming the sitcom, which ran for one season, “I had to go back to my dressing room to pull myself together because I didn’t know when another panic attack was going to happen,” she said.
She then began seeing a psychologist to help her cope with her anxiety, and said she saw him for nearly a decade. “I was learning about myself,” she said. “I was learning about how to forgive, and I was learning as I grew extremely successful how to be able to manage other people’s perception of me because they didn’t know me.”
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These days, Hawn said she’s learned to keep other people’s opinions in perspective. “When somebody says, ‘I love you, you’re great.’ That’s wonderful. But they don’t know me,” she said.
The actress added, “And if people say, ‘Ew,’ you know, or you get bad reviews and they’re all so mean and terrible, you go, ‘Well, that was their perception. But it’s not the truth.’ ”