Biggest mistake Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck made when getting back together

There's an old saying about how love can be sweeter the second time around, but is that really true? Can you really resuscitate a once-dead love story? If you were to ask Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez they would probably say 'no'.

The pair, who were initially engaged in the early 2000s, rekindled their romance nearly two decades later and finally tied the knot in 2022. However, the pair's divorce - which had been rumoured for months - was finally announced this week, with J-Lo filing to end their marriage on their second wedding anniversary. Ouch.

Speaking to Yahoo Lifestyle, MAFS expert and relationship coach Mel Schilling says that love can work the second time around, but it's rarely easy.

“I believe second-time marriages can work but with a huge caveat," Mel told Yahoo Lifestyle. "It’s absolutely imperative that all the issues that arose in the first marriage are dealt with by each partner."

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Certainly, despite their clear chemistry and affection for each other, scores of very dear friends, confidants, close family members and unnamed sources (allegedly) told the well-read gossip vessels that they’d been seen arguing in public multiple times in the lead-up to the breakup being confirmed. This suggests enormous relationship struggles - and could even mean that those first-time issues from when their love was new were still very much a problem in the veteran years of their romance.

According to these "close friend" quotes, some of the key factors that influenced their "relationship woes" included the pressure of public scrutiny, their busy schedules, and the complexities of blending their families.

Lopez had previously acknowledged the emotional transition of merging their families, indicating that while it had been fulfilling, it had also brought challenges. The couple had been working to address these issues, with (yet again, mainly unnamed) sources noting their effort to save the marriage amid these struggles.

Sadly, it just wasn't to be, yet again.

Rekindled romance can work, but very rarely

History teaches us that while rekindling an old romance can work — think Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor who split in 2017, only to reunite during Covid and are still going strong today — the majority of couples who tried again are doomed to fail.

The countless examples from celebrity land include Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson who divorced in 1976, before coming back to each other in 1989. They had daughter Dakota Johnson, only to divorce again in 1996. There's also Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon who first married in 2007, had their marriage annulled in 2008 and then remarried in 2014 only to divorce the following year.

And, of course, the classic example is Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, who married each other twice, with their second marriage also ending in divorce.

Second marriages tend to have higher divorce rates than first marriages. According to the US Census Bureau, about 60 per cent of second marriages end in divorce compared to around 50 per cent of first marriages.

There's limited specific data on remarriages to the same person but anecdotal evidence and some psychological studies suggest that while some couples manage to resolve previous issues and build a stronger relationship the second time, many (aka most) do not.

Relationship expert weighs in on repeat love

Schilling tells Yahoo Lifestyle that new boundaries need to be set as essentially a renewed relationship is a blank slate and it is the start of a new relationship.

“So both partners have to take responsibility for what may have happened in the last relationship and they need to work together on a new strategy about how they are going to do things differently in their new relationship.

“I think it is important these couples don’t get caught up in the romance of a second-time marriage. After all, we are talking about being back together in a relationship that may not have been incredibly positive in the first place."

Celebrities under particular pressure

Schilling said she thinks the temptation for celebrities to get back together to please others can be huge, so it’s important the couple get together and seriously regroup about where they are at and that they are doing this for the right reasons and not for the fans and the external factors.

“When it comes to a celebrity couple, it always does seem even more pronounced as not only are they being watched on every level and making sure they are getting it right, but there are so many external factors.”

Each relationship is unique — wouldn’t that be boring if that wasn’t a reality — and while some may find success, others might face similar issues that led to the initial breakup.

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So while second-time marriages or relationships with the same person can (very rarely) work out, the odds are not in their favour, unless there is significant effort to resolve past issues and for both parties to have grown substantially and individually.

So you see, friends? Celebrities really are just like us because, despite 'Bennifer's' wealth, fame and good intentions, when it's not meant to be, it's just not meant to be.

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