A woman who was a bridesmaid at her cousin's wedding three years ago has taken to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong for something she refused to do on the day as the bride has never spoken to her since.
"So the story is, I (F20, F17 at the time) was a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding, and I have very curly hair," she wrote. "At the time I was on a hair journey was doing no heat or dying trying to grow my hair out, and I really don’t like the way my hair looks straightened."
She continued, "My cousin (F24) (the bride) told me the day of when getting ready I had to straighten my hair because my hair wouldn’t look good in the pictures and I looked 'sloppy' with curly hair. I refused, and my cousin got extremely upset said I was ruining her wedding and started crying."
The poster added that "everyone got mad" over her not straightening her hair, adding it made her "feel horrible".
"After the wedding, I don’t have a relationship with her anymore, and thinking back I feel like maybe I just should [have] straightened my hair because it was her wedding day, and I feel bad I caused drama. But I’m not going to be controlled like that just because of a wedding."
Other Reddit users were quick to come to her defence, with one user saying the bride's reaction was "sickening".
"I get so mad at these stories about brides treating their bridesmaids like props!" they wrote. "She had absolutely no right, and calling curly hair 'sloppy' is sickening."
"If the bride didn't want your hair in her wedding party, she should not have asked you to be a bridesmaid," another added.
"I don’t get this," a third wrote. "I asked the people in my bridal party to stand up with me because I love them and wanted them to be there. I wanted them to look and feel their best. I gave a lot of leeway about dress styles (I only chose the colour) and shoe styles (I only chose the colour again) because I know different people feel best and comfortable in different things.
"I let them chose how to wear their hair. I paid for the makeup and gave general guidelines but let them talk to the artist about their own faces and needs. I loved having them there. They were beautiful and happy and I’m so grateful they were there for me."
"You are not an accessory," someone else added. "If this was so critical to the success of her wedding then a conversation in advance was called for. For her to cry like a baby over your curls? Oh man, is she in for a rough life."
"You didn't cause drama. She did," one person wrote. "The bride caused drama by having unrealistic and selfish expectations (expecting people to damage their hair for you is not OK), which she foisted on you last minute, probably because she KNEW you'd say 'no', and then tried to emotionally blackmail you into it with threats and crying when she couldn't get her way, getting the family to pile on you. Well done for sticking to your guns! This is entirely the brides' fault - for being selfish and treating you like a prop and for leaving it to the last minute."
The poster added in the comments, "I’m so happy to see everyone agreeing with me on here. All of family/ bridal hated me for it. The only ones who defended and agreed with me were my mum and sister."
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