Bride divides opinion over 'unfair' treatment of sister

A bride has divided opinion after taking to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong for not inviting her childfree sister and brother-in-law to her child-friendly wedding due to the way her sister acts around children.

Taking to the Am I the A**hole subreddit, the bride wrote, "My (27f) sister is the 3rd born out of 4 siblings, with me being the youngest, and we have 2 older brothers. Both our brothers have kids, and I have 2 kids of my own, and whenever our sister finds out there's a baby on the way, she acts like it's the worst thing in the world. She doubled down on this with me, because I'm a woman."

A bride has divided opinion after taking to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong for not inviting her sister to her wedding. Photo: Getty
A bride has divided opinion after taking to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong for not inviting her sister to her wedding. Photo: Getty

She continued, "Once the kids were born, she wouldn't let them call her auntie, which... OK. Said she'd never willingly babysit, which no one ever asked her to do.

"Then she started making comments which she presented as jokes, eg calling the kids 'leeches' and 'bastards'. She won't interact with any of her (7 total) nieces & nephews. She attends events with them there, but ignores them the whole time except for when she complains that she came out to talk to adults, not deal with little kids.


"Her husband is the same. I'm getting married, I want my kids there, as well as my nieces/nephews, and a handful of other kids from both families. I also don't want my sister moaning about being surrounded by kids, as they probably make up about 1/4-1/3 of the guest list. So my sister isn't invited."

The bride decided to tell her sister and brother-in-law before the invitations were sent out so they weren't "blindsided". Unsurprisingly, however, the sister was "highly offended" about being "excluded over her lifestyle".

The poster told her sister it was her attitude towards the children that was the reason she wouldn't be invited, "I said that if she wasn't such an a**ehole to the kids then I wouldn't need to exclude her in the first place."

The sisters' dad agrees with the poster, saying she should be able to invite whoever she wants, but their mother has taken the older sister's side, saying "it's unfair" to exclude her and that the worst she will do is "tell another adult that she isn't a fan of all the kids there".

Two angry sisters
The sister refuses to be nice to the bride's children, or any other children in their family for that matter, causing a huge rift. Photo: Getty

Commenters were quick to share their thoughts on the matter with one user writing, "She calls the kids bastards and leeches. OP isn't required to explain to an adult that bullying is wrong. Her sister knows this is a problem and keeps doing it. Hello, here are where actions have consequences."

"Nobody that ever called my child a bastard is going to be invited to my wedding," another agreed.

However, not all people were on the bride's side, as one user wrote, "YTA [You're the a**hole]. Probably not going to be a popular take. Yes, you can invite anyone you want to your wedding, so you have a right to not invite your sister. Yes, your sister has been TA [the a**hole] around your family. But that's not what you're asking. You're asking if you are TA by not inviting your sister to your wedding. The answer for me is yes.

"Look, she clearly has major issues around children and has been TA toward you and your families. For sure. But to me it seems you're not inviting her more out of revenge, to hurt her back for her hurtful comments. As your mother says, what exactly is the worst thing that can happen? Your sister bi***s to other guests?"

The user continued, "What I think you should have done: Pulled her aside and told her that while she's entitled to her personal opinions about children, you're going to have to insist she not express any of that during your own wedding. Ask her if she can do that. If she says yes, great. If she makes a fuss, say you *insist* and those are the conditions."

They added, "Unless you're leaving something out - like she never listens and always creates scenes - I think it's wrong to pre-emptively assume she won't be able to control herself and not invite your own sister to your wedding."

Someone else agreed, writing, "ESH [everyone sucks here]. Your sister sounds like a peach to be around. I wouldn’t invite her to any kid birthdays. But. Not inviting one sibling but inviting all other family and siblings is an affront.

"It’s very hurtful. You can do it, but expecting her to not be offended is delusional. And expecting her to not hold it against you forever because it’s 'your wedding' is also delusional. You can do it . That doesn’t mean you should and it certainly doesn’t mean there will be no consequences.

"If the worst things she’ll do is ignore the kids and complain to other adults about kids, then the drama of uninviting a sibling to your wedding is on you."

"Also, if she doesn’t want to be called auntie, the kids shouldn’t call her auntie."

"Really?" another user wrote. "This woman has ignored her family's children for ever. She should be ignored. As stated it is 'her attitude'."

The bride also shared in the comments that the sister had avoided their brother's wedding as children would be in attendance.

"Should I invite someone who frequently insults my kids, refuses to acknowledge them as family and calls them leeches, and insulted me when I was pregnant to my wedding?' Fixed the title. NTA," someone else wrote.

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