Angie Kent is one of Australia’s favourite TV personalities, from the Gogglebox couch to The Bachelorette mansion she’s always got something to say. She's now here answering all your burning questions about your sex life.
Question: How do I tolerate my in-laws when I know they don't like me?
This is a tough one for me to answer because I have never had this issue before. Mostly because I have never had an in-law, but secondly because parents generally adore me. Unless I am that unaware and delusional that I just assume they all did. Ignorance is bliss so I am sticking with the fact they all thought I was as cute as a button.
Ok, first things first ... have you asked your partner if their parents have an issue with you and if the answer is yes have you asked your partner why? If you are anything like me you will just assume people don’t like you for no reason. This is generally not the case, it’s just your mind playing sick little jokes on you.
From there, you can muster up a little speech and set forth and have the conversation with the in-laws. Maybe you can get to the root of the issue. Or is that me again being blissfully delusional because I have never been in this situation so I don’t know how hardcore it is to be married number one, but also to be married to someone whose parents don’t like you! That is quite horrible. Sorry to rub salt in the wound.
I hate people not liking me (people pleaser things) so I can’t imagine the feeling of the parents of someone I am seeing, or married to, not liking me. It’s serving second-hand anxiety for me.
I also see that you have used the word ‘tolerate’ so this makes me think that you also don’t care much for them either? To be fair, I like my bed more than I like most people so I totally get the whole tolerating people thing. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we do have to co-exist with a lot of munters. Munters who are not willing to do the work or notice their deeply average behaviour. We can’t change how people treat us or respond to us, but we do have control over how much time and energy we give these people. I understand it is harder when it is your actual partner in life's parents ... but, surely there is a way where you can still protect your peace to some degree?
I would recommend having the conversation. If that is just a big no-go zone then set up some healthy boundaries. I hope you have support from your partner and if you don’t ... well maybe it’s one of those things where you have got to think is this really how I want to live my life? We apparently only have one of them in this form so don’t be wasting it around people who don’t care for you or your boundaries.
If your partner does support you ... then how about you just cull the old folks out of your lives and just live your best lives without them? Totally kidding. That’s a horrible idea (or is it) I guess that’s only for you and your partner to decide.
Try not to beat yourself up too much (or your partner). Not everyone has to get along.
You can have respect for someone and their boundaries and not overly like them. It would be nice if we all loved each other absolutely sick, the world would be a completely different place. But this isn’t a Disney film and we will often find more so than not that there are people we just don’t gel with.
Take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Most people don’t like their in-laws. It’s incredibly common. Just sayin’.
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