Angie Kent is one of Australia’s favourite TV personalities, from the Gogglebox couch to The Bachelorette mansion she’s always got something to say. She's now here answering all your burning questions about your sex life.
Question: My partner wants to have an open relationship but I'm unsure. What should I do?
Ahhh the forever-growing curiosity of open relationships ... Where to begin. Well firstly, let’s have a look at what an open relationship means in generic terms as an open relationship can look different to each individual/partnership.
An open relationship is an intimate relationship that is sexually non-monogamous, meaning you can sleep with other people, in some cases form connections with other people etc etc . It’s not for everyone that’s for damn sure. Which I totally understand. But I also understand why it does work! How many times have you had a cheeky crush on someone even when you’re in a relationship? Maybe thought about someone sexually? Fancied someone else just a little bit? There’s nothing better than a cheeky crush!
Or have you thought about someone else when you’re sleeping with your partner even? It doesn’t make you love your partner any less (in some cases, every circumstance is different obviously).
Having eyes for only one person is almost impossible. I think there’s something special in appreciating humans in all their forms. Within reason of course.
I mean, if you really think about it, who even decided that being with one person forever and ever was how it should be? And to feel guilty if you don’t fit this made-up societal norm? I do believe women receive more guilt and experience shame much more, as men often are the ones who have their cake and eat it too or are allowed multiple wives in some religions. In no way do I think it’s ok for your partner to sleep with people, and then expect you not to. That’s called manipulation and control and also gross. It has to be equal and communication is that sweet sweet key.
In my opinion, I think it’s totally normal to desire and be attracted to other people. I don’t think that means you love your partner any less. We have been forced to believe that it isn’t ‘normal’ to want to be with more than one person ... but really, what even is normal? I think you should be able to express that side of yourself if that’s what you are into, respectfully of course.
If your partner doesn’t want the same, that is also fine and maybe you have to work out if you’re meant to be. If you both want different things in a relationship that’s a discussion that needs to be had for sure. One person can't just want it. That’s when resentment and jealousy come into play and no one wants to live like that. I think it’s quite common to expect jealousy to be a big factor at first. Feel through it, it’s not for everyone. Solid communication is what I believe would make an open relationship work, and obviously two willing participants.
I personally couldn’t do any more than my partner and I potentially sleeping with other people. I don’t think I’d like my partner or myself to have an emotional connection as I feel that could develop into something more. BUT then again, I think if it does develop into something more for myself or my partner ... then maybe the person I’m with isn’t in fact the person I am supposed to be with after all. You can’t force a relationship. There are about 8 billion people in the world ... I’m more than sure you’ve got a couple of handfuls of soulmates out there who will be your equal when it comes to how you view the world and want to experience it together! Or if you want to get out there and explore and your partner doesn’t, respect them and maybe a relationship isn’t for you right now.
In my opinion, being conventional is so yesterday. Do whatever works for you and your partner! There’s no rule book about what a healthy relationship should look like.
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