Yahoo Lifestyle Gabrielle Union Just Shared The Heartbreaking Real Reason That She Used To Split Finances Evenly With Her Husband, Dwyane Wade
This article mentions sexual assault and PTSD.
Back in 2023, Gabrielle Union famously talked about splitting finances evenly with her husband, Dwyane Wade.
Gabrielle’s comments, which were made during an appearance on Idea Generation, quickly sparked a huge divide online, with several internet users questioning why she was going 50/50 with Dwyane given his higher net worth. At the time, Dwyane's net worth reportedly sat at around $170 million, while Gabrielle's was estimated at $40 million.
Gabrielle addressed the discourse at the time, revealing in a lengthy Instagram post that while Dwyane had offered to cover things financially numerous times, she simply preferred to cover her share. Meanwhile, the athlete later defended himself and Gabrielle on the Club Shay Shay podcast.
But fast-forward to today, and Gabrielle has revealed that she’s no longer on board with the “50/50” concept in her marriage.
Speaking candidly on the Balanced Black Girl podcast this week, Gabrielle looked back on the “wild” and “aggressive” backlash over her memorable comments. “I famously said, ’50/50 or bust,’ right? I meant that in every [way], financially, spiritually, emotionally,” she said. “And there’s just a lot of days that I have 10%, and I need him to be 90. There are days I don’t have shit, and I need him to be 100.”
Gabrielle then explained that she realized her need to be in control of all aspects of her life stemmed from her being sexually assaulted when she was a teenager.
“I realized that so much of my anxiety — I was diagnosed with PTSD after being sexually assaulted at 19 — the extreme anxiety, the anxiety attacks, being hyperfocused on efficiency and time and being fiercely independent, are trauma responses,” she shared.
Noting that she started unpacking her trauma when she starred in the 2019 Apple TV+ show Truth Be Told with Octavia Spencer, which partly centered around child trafficking, Gabrielle said, “Something in me broke. It felt wild. I am a very controlled person, and I was going home every day crying to my husband, and he’s like, ‘Who is this person?’”
“It’s never wanting to be so out of control [that] I don’t have control over what is happening to my body,” she said. “And ’50/50’ is…I’m not going to be vulnerable enough to trust you with 100% of anything, not my heart, not my cash, not my energy.”
Gabrielle then recalled the conversation she had with Dwyane after she began addressing her trauma. “I was like, ‘Do you want to pay the whole mortgage?’ I thought I was about to die. I had such anxiety; I was crying, I was shaking,” she said. “He was like, ‘You insisted on that. I thought it made you feel better.’ I was like, ‘It did, and right now I wanna take it back. Let’s just try it for a month.’”
“Now it sounds crazy to be like, ‘You, Mr. NBA Superstar who made a bazillion amount of money more than I do, you can pay the mortgage,’ because I hate the feeling of releasing that to someone,” she shared. “You release that to someone, chaos can happen. So, these are baby steps.”
“Did I settle on about 35% of the mortgage instead of 50%? Sure. But, you know, I’m trying to [say], ‘OK, you got it, you got it,’” Gabrielle added. “And it’s brought us closer. Because he knows it's not about whether he can afford it. It’s being vulnerable enough to be open enough to know that I’m OK. I’m OK as his wife, he’s OK as my husband, I’m OK in this family, I’m OK in this home, I deserve it.”
You can listen to Gabrielle’s full appearance on the Balanced Black Girl podcast here.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
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