Woman Says Fiancé's 'Solution' to Parenting Issue Was Asking Her to 'Make a List' of Things He Should Do. She Refused
"I don’t want to mother him as well," woman wrote in a Reddit post
A frustrated mother is airing out her grievances after she says she got into a disagreement with her fiancé over how to care for their 1-year-old daughter.
In a recent post on the "AITA" subreddit, which stands for "Am I the A------," a woman, 24, described the events that led up to a "rather large disagreement" with her 25-year-old fiancé.
The woman says that one morning, while she was brushing her teeth, her fiancé was meant to handle their daughter's breakfast. However, the woman says that after getting their daughter into her high chair, he "proceeded to watch" TikTok videos instead.
"I finally came out and saw this and asked why he hadn’t made any breakfast for her yet… he proceeds to say 'I was waiting to ask you what to make for her,' " she wrote.
The woman said that "this comment sparked a disagreement between us because I vented about his lack of assistance in helping to get her or any of her belongings ready to go in the morning."
"His solution after getting frustrated with me was to tell me I need to 'make him a list of what I would like him to do for her' and I refused," she wrote, adding, "I don’t want to mother him as well and as her parent he should know what needs to be done."
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"I tried explaining that as her mom no one ever gives me a 'list' I simply look around or think about what needs to be done," she continued, going on to ask if other people thought her refusal was wrong.
The post sparked a discussion as commenters sided with the Redditor.
"You’re right....he’s a parent too, and these are basic tasks he should be able to manage without needing a list. It’s understandable that you don’t want to take on the mental load of managing everything for him, especially when you already have your hands full," one reply read. "Parenting should be a shared responsibility, and it sounds like you just want him to step up and be more proactive."
"Maybe a conversation about expectations and communication could help clear things up, but asking for a list seems like a cop-out on his part," the commenter went on to suggest.
Other commenters warned that it was important to address this behavior now, before tying the knot. "His laziness and apparent lack of ability to take any responsibility is not going to get better once you are married," read one response. "I speak from experience."
Meanwhile, several replies suggested that the woman should write a joke list for her partner filled with items like, "be a parent" and "pick up phone, delete TikTok."
Added one commenter, "that should cover it."
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