Yahoo Lifestyle Teachers Are Sharing The "Sickest Burn" A Student Ever Gave Them (And These Are Hilariously Brutal)
Recently, on Reddit, u/newenglander87 wrote: "A few years back, I was telling my class about how I spent my weekend hiking with my fiancé and my dog. A student said, 'You don't seem like the type of person to have a fiancé or a dog.' I've never fully recovered. Lol. What have students told you?"
In the comments, teachers shared tons of hilarious tales of students skewering them with their words. So, with no further ado, here are even more incredibly specific and hilarious ways students have roasted their teachers:
1."I got a haircut, and a student asked me if it was on purpose."
2."They were announcing teacher of the year over the loudspeaker, and I told my students to be quiet. Then, a student says, 'Why are you listening? You know it isn't going to be you.'"
3."I was showing my class my medals and photos from when I participated in an 18 and under Canada-wide sports event. (Canada Games). My one student looked me up and down and asked, 'What happened?'"
4."This requires some visual imagination. It was 'neon day' at school. I am tall and thin with boring, long brown hair and glasses. That day, I wore flare-bottom aqua/teal pants, an orange dress shirt, and a yellow vest over the top. Ya' know…neon colors. Kid comes in the room and, without missing a step, destroys me with: 'You look like the entire Scooby gang combined.'"
5."I don't mean this in a bad way, but you seem like the kind of person who would play Candy Crush."
6."I’m very boring, and a particularly mean student was triggered into empathy when he discovered my weekend plans (gardening). He suggested a few activities (the club, a casino) and was actually sort of gently encouraging me to 'get out there.'"
7."A fourth grader told me she wanted to find me a husband, and when I asked her why she said, 'Because then he can buy you a whole new wardrobe.'"
8."Student meant well for this one, but I was teaching eighth graders, and our unit was centered around thriller/mystery stories, so the end-of-unit task was to write their own thriller story. One of the boys I was working with seventh period asked what I would do if there was a serial killer in my house, and I said, 'Probably accept my fate since it means no more bills and work!' He then says, 'You’re too young to feel that way! You’re only like 35!!' I was 26, 😅 but thanks, kid."
9."'You should put less dark eyeshadow under your eyes.' I was make-up free."
10."Me: 'Looks like it's gonna be wet out.' Student: 'Unlike your girlfriend!' He was in fifth grade and had no idea what the joke meant. But he heard his dad say it the night before and got a laugh, so he wanted to repeat it."
11."My kids asked me my favorite energy drink. I told them Celsius. One of my kids said, 'You kind of seem like you’d like Monsters.' I replied, 'Monster drinkers are kind of unhinged.' The kid was like, 'Yeah.' Still living with that one."
12."Student just looked at me and said, 'You look like you drive a Camry with beige seats.' Hurt far more than just being called boring or plain."
13."I had a kid say, 'Since you were born in the late 1900s...' I told him to stop. I wasn't listening anymore, and if he continued, I'd give him detention, lol."
14."I (male teacher) wore a very nice knitted sweater. The kind with the big collar and one button holding the collar. My student said, 'You look like you own a cat.'"
15."An eighth grader in my math class got me really good. 'Hey, Mr. Z, did you know you are my second favorite teacher? All the others are tied for first.' I walked right into that one."
16."A little girl in my class wasn’t too fond of me; I didn’t care much for her either. One day, she asked me, 'When are you going to be sick?' I said, 'Why?' 'Because that’ll be the best day at school I’ve ever had.'"
17."Upon learning I was married, a seventh-grade girl said, 'You're married? I always figured you were alone.' It was 10 years ago, and I still think about it."
18."Just happened yesterday. 'Mrs, do you want this Rice Krispie treat? I don't want it, but I like to give to the poor.' I mean, no lies were told, though."
19."You look like a reject from a Young Sheldon casting call."
20."A 10-year-old, after telling me my clear glasses made it look like I had no eyebrows (they did, still can’t wear them lol), asked, 'Did you always wanna be a nerd?'"
21."We just found out we were getting a new principal at our high school and I was talking to a small class of mostly junior girls who were getting frantic about the possibility of a dress code being implemented and asking me questions about it. One girl said, 'Are we going to have to wear pants like that !?' and gestured at my pants. The rest of the class looked me over and said, 'Ewww!' 'Oh God, no!' 'They can't make us!!' Thanks, guys."
22."The sweetest fifth-grade girl said my hair, which I was feeling pretty good about, looked like her granny’s hair. I am a man."
23."While having a discussion about doing research using the Internet, I explained how when I was a kid, we had to go to the local library and hope the encyclopedia we needed hadn't already been checked out. One of my students looks at me and says, 'Wait, what, you were born in the dark ages.'"
24."'I bet you Live, Laugh, Love at home.' Not a damn thing in my house has that saying, but it was still funny as hell."
25.And finally, "I had a fifth grader talking about his girlfriend and was like, 'Dude, I don’t wanna hear about this.' He says, 'Miss, don’t even pretend like you don’t have a boyfriend.' I said, 'I don’t actually have a boyfriend.' He looks at me and says, 'Don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s just kinda sad.' I decided to reactivate my OkCupid profile and met my now husband a couple weeks later. Thanks, kid!"
Have you ever been expertly roasted by a child? Tell us what they said in the comments.
