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Tammy Hembrow opens up about dating as a single mum: 'Immediate ick'
The popular influencer has shared the biggest challenges she faces in finding her 'soulmate'.
Finding love in the modern world can be a challenge, and it becomes an entirely different ballgame when you're a single parent. Fitness influencer and Instagram sensation Tammy Hembrow recently took to her social media to share her unfiltered thoughts on the trials and tribulations of dating as a single mum.
As she readied herself for a day out with her kids, Tammy got candid about the hurdles she faces in the quest for her "soulmate."
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Tammy confided: "I never talk about this stuff, and this is probably the only time I'm ever going to." As she turned the conversation to the topic of "dating as a single mum," she delved into her personal experiences and insights.
"I have somewhat dabbled in the dating pool since I’ve been a single mum and let me tell you, I was just not ready for it. Firstly I just don’t have time for it and secondly my kids are so young still I kind of just want to focus on them. You know you’re not ready when you go on dates and you just have immediate ick to like...any human boy."
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Tammy is a proud mother of three children, sharing her first two, son Wolf and daughter Saskia, with her former fiancé Reece Hawkins. Tammy also has a baby girl named Posy, whom she shares with her second ex-fiancé, Matt Poole.
Tammy went on to acknowledge the complexities of her situation. "I also am someone who just thrives on my own but obviously I would love to meet someone one day, I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to know that my soulmate is out there."
Shedding light on the unique challenges single mothers face in the dating world, Tammy continued: 'A few things that have shown me how hard it is dating as a single mum, are the time it takes to date, for example, texting or literally just going on an actual date, and getting that time away from the kids. Like that is hard. Sometimes a guy will just wanna text non stop and I really don’t have time for that, I am a busy person I barely have time to reply to my friends."
Addressing her life and how finding a man fits into it, Tammy didn't mince words about her priorities.
"You will never be my number 1 priority," she said, "that is always going to be my children no matter what and if you have a problem with that then..." at this point, she accompanied her words with a definitive thumb gesture, indicating that person can show themselves out the door.
Tammy went on to suggest the struggle to even meet a potential partner is also a significant hurdle for single mothers, particularly if you're not interested in using dating apps.
"Another thing is actually meeting a guy. Like where am I actually meant to meet someone when all I do is go to work, go to school or go home? I’m just not one to use dating apps and...where am I gonna meet him? It’s not like I can just meet him at a bar, because if he’s at a bar he’s probably not the type of guy that I wanna date anyway."
Navigating the delicate territory of introducing a new partner to your children is a nuanced challenge, as Tammy astutely pointed out. "If you start actually dating someone, and you don’t want to introduce them to your kids and you really like them, and you spend all your time with your kids, but you don’t want to introduce them...you really can make no time for them."
Tammy's no-nonsense attitude shone through when discussing men who view children as "baggage." Her advice? "Honey if that man sees your kids as baggage, RUN. Run for the hills honestly. He’s doing you a favour, run away."
Wrapping up her monologue, Tammy finished on a note of empowerment.
"I'm definitely at a place where I’m super happy being alone, but I know eventually if I want to meet someone I’m gonna have to put myself out there...and make time for someone, and that’s just not something I’m willing or ready to do right now."
'It's gonna take a lot'
She signed off by urging all the single mothers out there to come forward and share their personal dating experiences with her, and just how they met and made time for a man.
"It's definitely going to take someone very special to every come into my life," she concluded, "because one thing about being a single mum, you learn a lot, especially about what you want in a relationship and a partner, and what you don’t want...it’s gonna take a lot."
The post was inundated with responses from fellow single mums, who poured out their empathy and shared valuable advice.
One user emphasised the importance of a partner who understands the concept of not being the top priority, saying, "HEAVYYYY on the you'd never be my #1 priority. I need someone who understands that."
Another user encouraged a focus on self-improvement, stating, "Focus on yourself, and the right person will align with you once you align more with your true self. Inner work!"
A single mother of three also chimed in, agreeing that "dating apps are not it!"
One user shared her bold move, saying, "This is unhinged, but I pulled over and gave my number to a guy I saw jogging down the street once, lmao," while another single mum added, "I just pray that I run into someone when I'm getting gas or groceries."
Summing up the collective sentiment, another follower aptly captured the overarching feeling, stating, "If you're struggling, God help the rest of us!"
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