“Survivor”’s Parvati Shallow Calls Relationship with Comedian Mae Martin 'an In Flux Situation' (Exclusive)

• Survivor winner Parvati Shallow started dating comedian Mae Marin in March 2023

• Shallow tells PEOPLE she doesn’t want to “fit myself into the structures of society” when it comes to dating

• The Deal or No Deal Island contestant calls her daughter 6-year-old Ama “my No. 1 priority” right now

Parvati Shallow may be saying “no deal” to continuing to date Mae Martin.

The Deal or No Deal Island season 2 contestant, 42, tells PEOPLE that she considers her relationship with the comedian, 37, to be “an in flux situation."

“I've been through trying to fit myself into the structures of society and the definitions of dating and the definitions of relationships, and I'm like, do I want to do that? Or do I want to just take a big ball of clay and make it into what I want?” Shallow says. “I'm traveling so much and having these really fun, amazing adventures, so I'm in this place of asking myself, what do I really want?”

Related: Survivor's Parvati Shallow Was 'Jazzed' to Have 'More Than Just 1 Old Pair of Underwear' on The Traitors

Shallow and Martin began dating in March 2023, and the reality star made the relationship Instagram official later that year. Shallow been previously been married to fellow Survivor alum John Fincher, with whom she welcomed daughter Ama in June 2018, for five years before they divorced in 2021.

“Getting divorced and going through that experience that I went through was really challenging,” Shallow says. “And then meeting Mae, that is a very different relationship than one that I've ever had.”

Shallow plans to detail those relationships in her upcoming book Nice Girls Never Win, which debuts in July. She’ll also be launching a companion podcast to the book in the coming weeks with reality TV producer Amy Bean.

“We don't have life figured out, it's a little messy and chaotic,” Shallow says. “But we are going to be having interviews with people who do have it figured out  — or have it figured out in certain areas of life — so we can pull from their expertise.”

As Shallow attempts to figure it all out, she says dating has been “the most challenging area of my life.”

“It's been really tricky,” she adds. “I feel like I can succeed everywhere else, but dating is always throwing little wrenches in my plans.”

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

Having the reputation as Survivor’s Black Widow, who leveraged relationships with male contestants to further her game, doesn’t help.

“This reputation of being this maneater stuck to me,” Shallow says. “I was like, oh, what man is going to want to date me? Now, I think I've shaken it a bit, but I am still a big presence. So if anyone is threatened by that or if anyone wants control in dating or wants power over me, then that dynamic isn't going to work for me.”

She continues, “I've met very few people who are confident enough to allow me to be my full self because I'm like, oh no, I'm pretty big. I like to flirt. I really connect with people very easily. So I think it's a big ask for the people that I date.”

Shallow admits she’s used a bit of her flirty Black Widow ways to further her game on Deal or No Deal Island by aligning with Australian Survivor's David Genat.

“I was watching David's season of Australia before I started Deal or No Deal, and I saw how he played — he aligns with the girls,” Shallow says. “He thinks he can control the women. So I was like, perfect. I'll play that game, which is easy for me to play, like [a] flirty connection game. I'll let this guy think he can control me. But also, I had a lot of respect for David as an Australian Survivor winner, because that game is hardcore. We both had this mutual understanding that we were going to protect each other because we needed each other.”

Beyond gaming and dating, Shallow calls her daughter “my No. 1 priority.”

“She's at this point in time where she's like, ‘You're famous. I want to be famous.’ I'm like, ‘Oh God. I'm not that famous. It's just certain circles of people who really like this reality show,’" Shallow says. “Sometimes people want to take my picture, and she's like, ‘What about me?’"

Ama has seen a few episodes of Shallow on Deal or No Deal Island, as well as season 2 of The Traitors, where Shallow "murdered" her costars alongside fellow Traitors Dan Gheesling and Phaedra Parks.

“She watched one episode of Traitors with me on it — the one where I poisoned Ekin-Su — and she was like, ‘Wait a minute. You're the bad guy? You're killing people?’ She was horrified,” the TV personality recalls. “And I was like, ‘It's a game. Ha-ha. It's funny.’ I didn't show her any more Traitors after that because she was traumatized.”

Related: Joe Manganiello Says Deal or No Deal Island Season 2 Winner Scores 'Most Money Anyone Has Ever Won' on TV (Exclusive)

Still, Shallow thinks Ama may be suited to follow in her footsteps.

“She is a performer, and she is super competitive,” Shallow says of her daughter. “I really could see her excelling in this genre of life, which is wild because when I was growing up, I never considered being a reality TV contestant as my career. But life had other plans.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Deal or No Deal Island airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on NBC.

Read the original article on People