Richard Simmons Said 'I Know People Miss Me' in Emotional Final Interview 2 Days Before His Death (Exclusive)

The fitness guru spoke to PEOPLE just days before he died at 76

Richard Simmons was singing: “Happy birthday to… me…” It was one day before he turned 76, and two days before the fitness and weight loss legend died of apparent natural causes in his Los Angeles home on July 13. He was also, inexplicably, serenading himself while imitating Marilyn Monroe. And, as it’s gone for the past five decades, no one was laughing harder than Richard Simmons. “I’ll always be the court jester,” said Simmons, on the phone with PEOPLE for an exclusive, rare interview — his first since his abrupt retirement from the public eye in 2014.

His reclusivity in recent years was a stark departure from the Richard Simmons his fans had come to know and adore. After growing up in New Orleans, where he struggled with weight issues throughout childhood (he weighed 268 lbs. when he graduated high school in 1966), the fitness showman first found fame in Los Angeles, where he opened Ruffage and the Anatomy Asylum — a combination health-food eatery and exercise studio in 1974.

It was the beginning of a fitness empire that included nine books (two bestsellers), his Deal-A-Meal and FoodMover diet plans, plus infomercials and workout videos (including “Sweatin’ to the Oldies,”), which have sold over 20 million copies. He appeared regularly on General Hospital, hosted his own talk show in the ’80s and became a favorite guest for the likes of David Letterman and Rosie O’Donnell. With his signature crown of curly hair, rhinestone-covered tank tops, dolphin shorts and tube socks, Simmons was a frenetic, high-kicking, arm-waving icon — and a sparkling beacon of hope for his millions of fans. “I’ll always be fooling around,” he told PEOPLE. “When the curtain goes up, I’m there to make people happy.”

Related: Richard Simmons, Fitness Guru, Dies at 76

That was also a role he took very seriously. “Here at home,” he added quietly, “I get up every day and help people. Because my work is very serious.” Before his death, his joyful identity was shrouded in mystery. His whereabouts and even his safety were questioned. Those close to Simmons say one reason for his seclusion was that he allegedly had knee surgery and needed a second but had refused.

But Simmons said he never disappeared. He had been emailing fans and friends (“we answer 100 emails daily”) and calling those in need. He talked about the skin cancer he’d had removed earlier this year. “Basal cell carcinoma, it was scary. But it never came back. So many people have cancer,” he added. “I call them, I sing to them. ‘You’re gonna get through this. You just have to believe that.’”

As of just a few months ago, he had been working on a musical, with the composer Patrick Leonard. He was excited about the future, but even more just about the day ahead. On the phone he was upbeat, and planning a comeback. “I’m grateful I get to live another day,” he said, talking about how he was planning to celebrate his birthday with one candle “stuck in a zucchini. You know I’m a vegetarian.”

He was also tiptoeing back into a more public life, releasing statements on Facebook and YouTube over the past year. “Today is a beautiful day,” he said. “But nothing’s really different. I got up this morning. I said my prayers, I counted my blessings, and then I went to work. You know? And writing messages, answering emails — and when the email is real extreme, I ask for their numbers, and I call them. I'm feeling great, 'cause I'm helping people.” Below, more from Simmons’ emotional, revealing interview.

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People say you disappeared, but you really have not. You’ve still been quietly helping people over the last years.

Well, when I decided to retire, it was because my body told me I needed to retire. I have spent time just reflecting on my life. All of the books I wrote, the videos. I never was like, "Oh look what I've done." My thing was, "Oh, look how many people I helped."

Where did this ethos come from, this need to help others?

My parents instilled that in me. They did not have a lot of money in New Orleans. They weren't Catholic but I went to Catholic school because it was three blocks away. And I fell in love with nuns. I’d never met a nun in my life. One of the nuns decided to leave the order. And she had nowhere to go. She had a small suitcase with maybe two outfits in it. And where did she go? She went to my house. My mother gave her clothes. My father gave her money for a Greyhound bus ticket to go back home. I was always embroidered with caring for people.

Folks always felt comfortable opening up to you.

I’m telling you, when I did a personal appearance at a shopping mall, if I taught a 45-minute class, then people lined up and they wanted an autograph. But it wasn't simply that they wanted an autograph. They wanted to tell me their whole story. Because they didn't feel anyone listened to them. And I would sit there and hold their hand, and I would do that for maybe three hours until nobody was left.

That’s really your legacy, Richard. You can really connect with people — and that makes you a legend. When you hear that word “legend,” what do you feel?

I don't hear it at all. I don't hear the word legend. I don't hear the word icon. I never lived a celebrity life. I never thought of myself as a celebrity. People don't know this, I'm really a shy person and a little bit of an introvert. But when that curtain goes up that's a different story. I'm there to make people happy. But the accolades I get from emails. I mean, today most probably, we'll answer over 100 emails. And they'll say, "I'm your No. 1 fan." And I just write back, and I say, you know, "Don't say that because I'm a human being just like you. And I know that you do good things, too.”

Related: Richard Simmons’ Brother Says He Doesn’t ‘Want People to Be Sad’ About Fitness Guru’s Death: ‘Celebrate His Life’ (Exclusive)

But you can look back a little bit and see what you've accomplished and what you've changed in terms of how we talk about fitness and nutrition, right?

I can. I am proud of myself. You know, when I wanted to open my salad bar in my [fitness] studio, there was nothing like it. There wasn't a place for overweight people to feel comfortable. I could not believe it. I had to pinch myself. All of these people came in. And I would just try to teach a great class and make 'em a great salad. And you know, that led to General Hospital. So one day I was making salads, and the next day I was in a soap opera with Genie Francis and Tony Geary. Then I had my own show. And then, I got into the infomercial world. Then I packed up my aerobics shoes and I did 200 days on the road for over 35 years.

The weight loss and fitness industries have changed so much of late. Can we compare and contrast then to now? 

Well, when I retired, I thought someone else was going to take my place. That somebody would open up studios for people who needed to lose weight or didn't feel good about themselves, but I haven't seen that. I mean, there's always been places for fit people.

Jane Fonda’s studio was about three miles away from me, and I've always been a fan— so I dressed up one day with a brown wig, a mustache, and glasses and a gray sweatshirt and heather-gray pants — and I went to her class. And she never knew it was me. And she was an excellent teacher.

What are your thoughts on weight loss drugs and surgeries? 

Today, you know, some people have their weight loss surgeries. That's none of my business. If they tell me, they tell me. If someone's taking a shot to lose weight, that is not my business. I just hope that it helps them, you know, once you get to a certain age, weight is pretty hard to lose. I never advise people to do phony things. When I did my Deal-a-Meal and FoodMover [weight-loss plans], it was all based on the food groups. When I gave my exercise classes, it was all low-impact movements to classic songs that nobody had ever used in their workout.

Related: Richard Simmons Posted on Social Media Just Hours Before His Death: See His Final Messages

But whatever you did as a performer, you always played yourself, for lack of a better term.

You know, when I first did my videos, I'm sure people thought I was silly and a little bit different. But they seemed to embrace that I was just an ordinary guy, nothing special about me, except maybe my sense of humor. When I was a waiter at Derrick's [a now-closed restaurant in L.A.], I was a real cut-up…I made people laugh. There was no menu, so I did the menu verbally — and if there was a guy at the table, I would sit on the guy's lap.

You were also popular on talk shows, like with David Letterman.

Well, I knew that I gave Mr. Letterman great shows. And gave them good ratings! And every day I get emails: “Please go back on Howard Stern.”

You’ve always said you’re the court jester.

Always will be. Remember, when you were an overweight kid in grammar school and you were bullied [like me], humor becomes your defense. I was in a schoolyard, I guess I was in sixth grade, and this man… this boy who was very tall for his age took a baseball bat and hit me on the back of my head. I fell to the floor and the nuns came out and asked me if I was okay and they sent me home.

Maybe 25 years later, I was in New Orleans shopping, and this man came up to me with a long beard and overalls on, with his wife, and said, "I don't think you remember me, but I'm the one that hit you in the head with a baseball bat." And he said, "Can you ever forgive me?" And his wife started to cry and, you know, he came up to me and he hugged me and — you know, that meant a lot to me.

What do you tell people when they are really struggling?

It's shocking. Especially when [people I talk to] are young and they feel they're not accepted. And they feel they're not loved. Then they want to take their own life. And trust me, I have made those phone calls. And said, "No, no, no, no. God has the day that you came in and the day you're going. And you just have to accept that and move on.”

Related: Ricki Lake, Pauly Shore and More Stars Mourn 'Special' Richard Simmons After His Death: 'One of a Kind'

You’ve been open about your own struggles with being bullied. In your darkest moments, what has given you the strength to keep going?

I always bounced back, because I always thought that I was a good person. And the person who was bullying me had their very own problems. And that's how I've always lived my life. You know, I have a saying, kindness lives inside of all of us, you just have to let it out.

And now you’re putting all of it—New Orleans, General Hospital, Sweatin’ to the Oldies—into a Broadway show? I hope the famous tank top and shorts are in there.

I've written 14 songs for a Broadway show. And I'm working with an amazing man — Patrick Leonard. I don't know if you know his name, but he wrote music for Madonna, Elton John. He's like one of the biggest. And we talk a couple of times a week. I write the lyrics, and he writes the music. The whole show is about my life — from selling pralines in New Orleans at a candy store when I was a kid, to when I decided to retire. Every week, I write an audio. So this is the one for this week. Can I read it to you?

Of course you can.

How do you deal with loss? It takes a toll on your heart. Some shed many tears, others stare at the sky. It's so hard to say goodbye. Here is what I know when it's time for us to go, beautiful angels will greet us with a smile and a hello.

We have missed you, Richard. Your fans, all of us. You do know that, right?

I know people miss me. And you know what? I miss them, too. But I'm able to reach them through phone calls… and through emails. And I do leave the house sometimes. But I'm in disguise.

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