How ‘Real Housewives of NYC’ Villain Sai de Silva Changed Haters’ Minds

The Real Housewives of New York City’s Sai de Silva lost all fan support last season. On some sides of the internet, it was even popular to call her “Sigh.”. Now, she’s won them back.

It’s the mark of a good Housewife to effectively flip the narrative in just one season. Camille Grammer infamously did it in early Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, going from paranoid and, well, pernicious to generally heart-warming. On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle Bryant seems to have turned her seasons-long mean streak into a lighter spirit. But Sai’s turnaround is especially striking.

Last year, she was relentlessly badgering Jessel Taank and screaming at Brynn Whitfield at the finale party. Now she’s filming more vulnerable family scenes, while articulating some smarter and sharper reads along the way.

Even if Sai has toned down the villainous persona, that doesn’t mean she’s abandoned her honesty. Throughout our conversation, Sai makes multiple subtle jabs at her castmates. Is Rebecca Minkoff boring? “She’s very kind,” Sai demures. Did she agree with Brynn that Jeff Lewis is a pig? Sai likes Jeff because he’s “a straight shooter,” possibly unlike some other castmates. When asked if she’d seen Wicked yet, Sai hilariously answered no, because the movie was too long. And yet, a mere 90 minutes later, she was posting OPI x Wicked spon and interviewing Cynthia Erivo.

There’s no pretending that this season of RHONY is miraculous television. There’s highs and lows, with a penchant for pranks turning many viewers off the series entirely. But Sai offers a bright spot, and possibly a look into the franchise’s future.

Let’s go way back. Tell me about the decision to join RHONY in the first place.

It was a hesitant decision at first. As someone who constantly curates her own life on the internet, I felt like I would be losing that control of it if I was to give that over to Bravo. It was just definitely something I was contemplating, that was a big deal for me. But at the same time, I think being presented with a television show that has been such a staple of New York City, and being like the first to actually reboot it, I felt would be such an iconic moment. Why wouldn’t I take that opportunity?

Do you feel like you lost that control?

Yeah, I totally lost that control! My socials are still my socials, but it opened my life up to national TV. Now everyone can watch it and scrutinize and say whatever they want to say, whether that be good or bad.

Has it changed how you run your business? Can you still be both an influencer and a Housewife?

The only thing that would be different now is appearances. If I do appearances and we’re in season, I tend to go from attending the event to it seeming like I’m hosting it, because everybody wants to take photos. It’s totally fine, like I love it. I’m always so shocked people even recognize me, because, in my mind, I still think I’m a social media creator. But I take that into consideration now when I am booking any type of appearance job.

Your husband David has been on the show a couple of times, but less than some of the other husbands. Is he down to film?

He’s just not a househusband! He’s not into the cattiness of the girls, he doesn’t like to get involved in something that is just women, it’s just not really his thing. He’s never been involved in my social media channel. He’s just someone who is very private. I like the fact that you see us in a family setting, but I don’t think it’s necessary for him to go to so-and-so’s birthday party.

Does he have friendships with any of the Housewives, or any of their husbands?

He loves the girls. I don’t think he knows the men well enough. He’s met everyone, but it’s not like a budding friendship. It’s new.

So Season 1 is airing, and you take on the villain role. How was it watching the season air?

I didn’t even know I was the villain for the longest time. I was in such a bubble. When it aired, I didn’t allow comments and I got rid of Google alerts, so I actually didn’t know I was the villain until my friends started saying something. I was like, “How am I the villain? I’m so funny!” To be honest with you, I still don’t think I was a villain. I think I was cranky because I was hungry. I’m a hangry person. And I also think I was very annoyed with someone, and my reasons were very much on camera, and I apologized when needed.

When you did start to learn, how was it dealing with that public reaction?

Unfortunately, I’m a Sagittarius, so I really didn’t care. People are really like, “Oh my god, she’s fired.” No, I’m hearing birds chirping in the background and classical music. I don’t care about anybody else’s opinion.

Did it change at all how you approached this season?

Watching it back, people don’t understand a lot of my dry humor. People don’t understand my assertiveness being a New Yorker. I’m not someone who is used to being overly affectionate or fluffy. I realized that the women I am in friendships with were not all made that way, and a lot of them are sensitive. My delivery of speaking to them could be off-putting, and I needed to realize that.

What was the change? How did you adapt to that realization?

It was just in my delivery. My message gets lost, because all people see is that I’m screaming. This season I took a step back. I don’t know if you can tell or not, but I’m still very much myself. I’m still very honest, there are no flashbacks of me lying. I’m still saying what it is that’s on my mind, but my tone is different.

People are seeing it! Things online have turned around — there’s a lot of love for you on Twitter.

That’s the other thing, I don’t have Twitter.

That’s probably a good thing.

The only time I get messages is if my glam team or my team at work send me Twitter messages that they think are funny. Other than that, I really don’t see it, and I don’t look for it.

I want to dive into some of the more specific pieces of the season. You have this incredibly emotional moment spreading your mother’s ashes. How was it to film that?

That was one of the most difficult scenes, just because it’s something so personal. I’m not someone who opens up and shows my emotions. My husband can count how many times he’s seen me cry, and we’ve been married for 15 years. Not only crying in front of my family and my children, but also crying for the world to see, it was very tough for me to get through.

Have you been able to feel any of the love since that episode aired?

I didn’t want to look at the comments. Sometimes when things are that raw and vulnerable, and you start looking at comments, it makes you cry all over again. I ran away from that one, to be honest.

I hope you know that the fans have rallied around you. To keep harping on the fan reaction, you all have sustained two years of fans comparing you to the original cast. Does that hurt?

It doesn’t hurt, but I do think it’s annoying. As people continuously say it, it gets really frustrating, because we are trying. You need to allow us to get our footing, so we can become the show you’re craving, but at the same time you’re beating us up. What do you want from us? If we yell and have little arguments about cheese? “Oh that’s terrible, it’s too petty.” But if it’s so dark you don’t want to see it. “Why are you fighting? You should be better than that, you’re professional women!” But then nobody wants to see us kumbaya. We can’t please the audience right now, so we’re in limbo. I do think the season is going to pick up, and I think it’s quintessential Housewives. I think the audience is really going to react in a positive way.

It’s picking up already. I loved this week’s episode, with Rebecca and Brynn finally getting into it. Do you still think Rebecca’s boring?

I think Rebecca is lovely. I think Rebecca is very nice. She’s very kind, very sweet, I don’t have issues with Rebecca at all.

Okay! On Watch What Happens Live the other night, Brynn called Jeff Lewis a pig. Do you have a relationship with Jeff?

I’m a chump. I go on his show quite often, I adore him. People who are straight shooters seem to gravitate towards one another. I find his honesty refreshing.

You got to see Rebecca’s Wicked-themed collection on the show. Have you seen Wicked yet?

No I haven’t, but my daughter has seen it twice.

You gotta go!

I know, I know, but it’s a long movie. I need to go to one of those movie theaters where they serve you food and drink. Can’t be the rinky-dink movie theater, it has to have a high-class, recliner vibe. I heard it was amazing, though! On my bucket list.

Last thing: I love Sai-phora. How many packages do you get a day?

Yesterday, we picked up 28. Since I’ve been on the show, my packages have actually diminished. When I was just a creator, I received more packages.

Anything you miss receiving?

Things that have decreased that I’m really upset about… it’s probably luxury handbags. I don’t get nearly as many luxury handbags as I was getting before, so that’s a total bummer.

(This interview has been edited for length and clarity)