Yahoo Lifestyle Quotes of the Week: Tracker, DWTS, Shrinking, Diplomat, Lioness and More
Now that Halloween has come and gone, our latest Quotes of the Week compilation is here to cleanse your horror hangover.
In the list below — which features our picks for TV’s most memorable sound bites of the past seven days — you’ll find nearly two dozen shows represented, including Tulsa King, Dancing With the Stars, Tracker, General Hospital, The Summit, The Real Housewives of Orange County and more.
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Also featured in this week’s roundup: Shrinking’s Harrison Ford delivers an unexpected retort, Martha Stewart doesn’t mince her words in Netflix’s Martha and The View’s Sunny Hostin sends a message to Donald Trump. Plus, we’ve got quotable moments from Abbott Elementary, Elsbeth, Agatha All Along, Days of Our Lives and double doses of The Diplomat, The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon, Lioness, NCIS: Origins and House of Villains.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Michael Ausiello, Mandi Bierly, Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Rebecca Iannucci, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Kimberly Roots and Andy Swift)
THE DIPLOMAT (Episode 2)
“Correlation is not causation.”
“I don’t know what that means. I pretend to when you say it, but I don’t.”
Kate (Keri Russell) requests clarification during a tense conversation with her wordsmith of a husband Hal (Rufus Sewell)
THE DIPLOMAT (Episode 4)
“[You had] sex? With her?
“You sent her.”
“Not to f–k you. To get you drunk and talk about America.”
“Well, she’s an overachiever.”
Eidra (Ali Ahn) is shocked to discover that her colleague and ex Stuart (Ato Essandoh) shared more than just state secrets with the beautiful woman she sent to entrap him
TRACKER
“There’s an old rail yard not far from here. Some old train cars there. At least there used to be, back in high school, when I’d go there to make out with guys.”
“That’s… descriptive. Important.”
Billie (Sofia Pernas) kisses and tells
SHRINKING
“Liz, I’m going to try to say this sincerely. I’m glad you came in here.”
“That’s it?”
“What, you want me to pull my pants down and make my ass clap?”
Paul (Harrison Ford) cracks a joke after Liz (Christa Miller) attends one of Sean’s therapy sessions
SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE
“OK, put me in, Coach. What do you need me to do? You want me to sit down and watch you, or go lie down in the bedroom?”
Sam (Bridget Everett) proves that she’s probably not the best person to help you pack up your house and move
TULSA KING
“If you want to build a future, you got to know what you want.”
“I want you.”
“You have terrible taste in men.”
“Tell me about it.”
Dwight (Sylvester Stallone) and Margaret (Dana Delany) flirt… in their way
A CAROL FOR TWO
“‘Santa Baby’ is fun!”
“You want to sing a song about falling in love with Santa Claus?”
“Yeah. Why not? I’m sure he’s a very giving and generous partner.”
Broadway hopefuls Violette (Ginna Claire Mason) and Alex (Jordan Litz) struggle to choose a song for their duet
THE SUMMIT
“Dammit, I knew I should’ve tried out for Wheel of Fortune!”
Jeannie freaks out during a terrifying rappelling challenge
THE WALKING DEAD: DARYL DIXON
“You don’t need to take any dumb risks.”
“How do you think I found you?”
Daryl (Norman Reedus) should know better than to argue with Carol (Melissa McBride)
THE WALKING DEAD: DARYL DIXON (Bonus Quote!)
“There will be another Genet before long. The boy will be safer in America. At least you guys don’t fall for fascists.”
Well, some of us don’t, Anna (Lukerya Ilyashenko)
THE VIEW
“This Puerto Rican has something to say about the island that I love, where my family is from. Puerto Rico is trash…? We are Americans, Donald Trump… We don’t like what was said about Puerto Rico and we know how to take the trash out… My fellow Puerto Ricans, trash collection day is November 5, 2024. Don’t forget it.”
Co-host Sunny Hostin claps back at a joke made at a Trump rally in New York City
LIONESS (Episode 1)
“A Lioness isnt designed to get intel. We hit hard targets.”
“All right — after you kill the guy, could you be so kind as to grab his f—king phones, and computers, and anything else that might have some f—king intelligence?”
Mullins (Morgan Freeman) nudges Lioness tamer Joe (Zoe Saldaña) to think f—king different
LIONESS (Episode 2)
“Would you like some coffee?”
“I’d love some coffee.”
“How do you take it?”
“Black as my first husband’s heart. [Kaitlyn is handed her coffee] Fancy — you’ve got your own mugs.”
“You guys don’t have any?”
“It kind of defeats the purpose if the clandestine organization starts making swag naming the clandestine organization, don’t you think?”
Kaitlyn (Nicole Kidman) probably doesn’t have any “CIA” floating keychains, either
MARTHA
“Those prosecutors should’ve been put in a Cuisinart and turned on high.”
Martha Stewart bemoans the relentless zeal with which the all-male US Attorneys club pursued her 2004 felony conviction
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
“They could have razor blades in them. Or worse: nuts.”
A concerned parent (Sharon Brathwaite) is against Barbara handing out Halloween cupcakes to the students
NCIS: ORIGINS
“Take Mary Jo with you. She’s the one most likely to get through to the girl.”
“You mean because I’m a multi-talented individual?”
“No, because you’re both Black. And… the other thing, too.”
Franks (Kyle Schmid) puts NIS’ “Head Secretary in Charge” (Tyla Abercrumbie) in charge of a young Black eyewitness
NCIS: ORIGINS (Bonus Quote!)
“If you’ll focus on this area here, all the way to this area here, you will notice that it looks exactly like my grandpa Marv’s combover. Like, exactly.”
Woody (Bobby Moynihan) walks Franks through familiar(/familial?) bullet striations
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
“I thought if anyone could nail tacky, it was Alexis. But she looks normal… for once.”
Emily points out Alexis’ failed attempt to arrive at the party on theme as a tacky bridesmaid
GENERAL HOSPITAL
“You’re asking me this now? You know I’m on a lot of painkillers, right?”
“Yeah, I was kinda hoping that would work to my advantage.”
Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) pops the question as soon as Sam (Kelly Monaco) is out of surgery
GHOSTS
“Oh, he is roasting you two!”
“OK, founding farter.”
Isaac (Brandon Scott Jones) comments on Jay’s (Utkarsh Ambudkar) critique of Alberta (Danielle Pinnock) and Hetty’s (Rebecca Wisocky) powers, leading to a perfect insult from Hetty about Isaac’s special ability
DANCING WITH THE STARS
“I usually like cats.”
Judge Bruno Tonioli, much like everyone else in the ballroom, is disappointed by a cheetah-costumed Carrie Ann Inaba and her criticism of Chandler Kinney’s flawless Viennese waltz
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
“Have you ever heard of the superhero called Arrow? … How about The Flash? … Do you know what you get when you put them together?”
We had no idea where Alex (Robert Scott Wilson), in character as Body & Soul’s Arrow, was going with this one… until he suddenly ran out of the room
ELSBETH
“I’m Tampa sober. Just booze and Xanax.”
Former child star/murder suspect Mackenzie (Brittany O’Grady) explains to Elsbeth that she doesn’t get high anymore
AGATHA ALL ALONG
“There’s plenty of overlap between earth [magic] and potions. Right, Jenny Kale?”
“Some.”
“Please. Your last name is a vegetable. Worst kind. It’s like swallowing a doily.”
Agatha (Kathryn Hahn) proves once again that she can find anything to enthusiastically insult about a person
HOUSE OF VILLAINS
“It feels amazing. I feel larger than life. No wonder I’m the city that never sleeps because I am pulsating in all different types of places.”
When asked by host Joel McHale how it feels to be safe this week, Tiffany “New York” Pollard lets loose with this gem of a quote
HOUSE OF VILLAINS (Bonus Quote!)
“There you go! Nothing brings people together like hate and spite directed towards a third party. It’s kind of heartwarming, actually, guys.”
McHale comments on frenemies Camilla Poindexter and Victoria Larson’s mutual hatred for Supervillain of the Week Larsa Pippen
THE 5-YEAR CHRISTMAS PARTY
“Listen, Ashley Williams is about to go and find love in a small town that may or may not be in a snow globe or a painting or both, I haven’t figured it out yet.”
Alice (Katie Findlay) informs Max (Jordan Fisher) of her meta evening viewing plans before he happily joins her
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