Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Sharing The Strangest And Dumbest Rumors They Have Heard About Themselves
I think it's safe to say that we've all heard something about someone only to find out later that it actually was only slightly true or off because of a miscommunication. However, sometimes we hear things about people that turn out to be flat out lies!
Recently, Reddit user pointlessneedle was curious about the latter when they asked: "What is a dumb rumor you've heard about yourself?"
The thread got thousands of responses. Below are the top and most outrageous rumors people have heard about themselves:
1."My parents were called into the principal's office. They met with a teacher and also the superintendent of the entire independent school district because of a rumor that I was the high priestess of an afterschool satanic cult."
2."That I accepted $10K from my ex's parents to end the relationship and cancel the wedding. Truth is, I did it for free to make sure they didn't end up my in-laws. I bet they would have paid it, tho."
3."That I was attacked by a bear. Not, it was just eczema."
4."That I had a sex change operation. Heard about it at a high school reunion. Imagine the surprise when I showed up and was still a man."
5."I got picked on in 7th grade by boys who thought I was stuffing my bra. Thanks, I guess?"
6."That I was having an affair with the preacher. There were a lot of equally insane reasons for this (he put his hand on my shoulder to get my attention, I met the delivery truck at his house while he was preaching because a refrigerator was being delivered literally in the middle of him working, etc). My favorite reason was because I pulled weeds in his yard while he was OUT OF TOWN visiting his son, who was dying in the hospital. Sexy stuff."
7."That I was 'shot in the ass after buying some weed' while I was home sick from school for two weeks with bronchitis. Fuck you, Ray."
8."That I was an escort. I worked at a fine dining restaurant, and one of the servers came and said, 'Okay, I gotta ask because I keep hearing...' The cackle that bellowed out of me. I said, 'No, babe, I work here, I work at a dive bar up the road, and I’m a cocktail server at a strip club. I’m not a dancer, and I get bad stage fright. Also, if I were an escort, I wouldn’t be a hostess at this place. I would be dining here with your husband. Tell everyone exactly what I said because I’m not repeating myself.'"
9."That I did meth in the parking lot before coming into my shift as a pool lifeguard when I was 16 😭."
10."That I'm a gold digger because I'm several years younger than my husband. Had a few of his cousins angrily confront me at a family event a while ago. My husband told them to piss off. The truth is, I make roughly the same amount of money he does, and due to an inheritance, I'm a multimillionaire. As far as money is concerned, I brought WAY more into the relationship."
11."That I made out with my cat. Fuck you, Kyle. High school was already hard enough."
12."There was a rumor at an old job of mine that I had lost one of my testicles to cancer. But part of the rumor was that I am really sensitive about it, so people wouldn't ask me about it. So it went on for years before I found out about it."
13."I was a gang member on parole for murder or manslaughter or something. Some high school kid at the movie theater we worked at started telling the younger or newer coworkers about me and this resulted in everyone avoiding me."
14."That I got fired from KFC because I didn't fit in the chicken suit they wanted me to put on to go outside to promote the store. I'm 6'9," and this was high school, lol."
15."I bought about 50 Zippo lighters years ago for a good price and sold them on eBay. It was nice; I made some money and kept a few for myself as I like collecting things. A few years later, someone I grew up with and hadn't seen in years asked me if it was true that Zippo had sued me for manufacturing fake lighters."
16."That at 15, I had a severe drinking problem. Apparently, I got especially drunk one night, got arrested, and the following afternoon, my parents sprung me from jail, still drunk, and as I was being dragged into the house, I was raving my head off at the top of my lungs. In reality, I had my wisdom teeth removed at the hospital that day, and the anesthesia hit me pretty hard, to the point my father had to help me get dressed after. My parents pretty much poured me into the backseat of the car, got me home, and had to help me out of the car, into the house, and up to my room. Once they got my shoes off, thankfully, I was able to undress myself and fall into bed for several hours."
"The girl who lived across the street witnessed my arrival at home post-surgery. She spread the rumor to other girls known for gossiping, and it spread. When I got back to school, I was called into the office and asked about it. I explained what happened, opened my mouth to show them the horror show that was in there, and life went on."
17."That I was a drug dealer because of all the people at the house. The people were either my mother or sister dropping off/picking up my nephew while I babysat him. No one else, lol."
18.And lastly, "That I was dead. A buddy of mine changed high schools back in the day, and I guess he thought it'd be easier to ingratiate himself by going for the sympathy vote. He told people I died in a car crash on a notoriously steep curve near my house (I didn't even have my learner's license at the time). He had taken time off to go to my funeral and give a eulogy and would mention he was off to supposedly visit and comfort my family."
"Imagine the surprise when a friend of a friend who went to that school actually met me months later at a party and told me all this. They were LIVID, and I was more amused. I'd see him around afterward, but I never questioned or confronted him about it; he got enough crap for it when word of my status as 'alive' got around."
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
