If last night's episode of Married at First Sight Australia taught us anything, it's that delivering a best man's speech is a high-stakes world, where one wrong move can turn a celebration into a cringe-fest faster than you can say "I do".
Crafting the perfect blend of humour and heartfelt sentiment is a delicate balance at the best of times. To ensure you nail it here are 7 things to steer clear of in your best man's speech.
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1. Ex marks the spot - but not in your speech
First up, let's address the elephant in the room – (almost) everyone has an ex. But mentioning former flames in your best man's speech is unnecessary and bound to end in disaster. Your role is to celebrate the present love, not dig up old memories.
2. Keep the bucks night...in Vegas
We all know the old adage; what happens at the bucks party stays at the bucks party. While the groom might secretly enjoy a reminder of the epic night, the bride and her grandmother might not share the same sentiment. Keep the details to a minimum and save the wild tales for a boys-only reunion.
3. Mind your language
Sure, your mates might be used to your colourful vocabulary, but a wedding audience typically includes a mix of generations so swearing like a sailor during your speech is a surefire way to turn the room ice-cold. Save the salty language for the bucks party recap with the boys and keep it PG for the wedding crowd.
4. Roast, don't incinerate
It's open season for friendly digs at the groom, but remember, we're not here to bury him – just to roast him a little. Balance your jokes with genuine well-wishes and avoid turning the speech into a burn session that leaves everyone squirming in their seats. Think light-hearted teasing, not an episode of a reality TV show...(ahem).
5. Don't ridicule the bride
When complimenting the bride, think fairy godmother, not Simon Cowell. Your best man's speech is not the time to unleash your inner critic. Shower the bride with praise, sincerity, and maybe a dash of charm, but steer clear of any critique that could have the in-laws exchanging awkward glances.
6. Sober up, Captain! - Dutch courage is overrated
While it may be tempting to down a few shots of liquid courage before your moment in the spotlight, remember that slurring your way through a speech is not a good look. Save the inebriation for the dance floor and approach the microphone with a clear head and steady nerves.
7. Check your ego at the door
Yes, you're the best man, but that doesn't mean your speech should turn into a monologue about your incredible adventures with the groom. Keep the focus on the newlyweds, sprinkle in a few shared moments, and resist the urge to turn the speech into your personal stand-up routine.
All in all, when crafting your speech, tread lightly, aim for laughs, and sprinkle in a generous dose of heart. Armed with these guidelines, you'll have the crowd in stitches and the happy couple thanking their lucky stars that you were the chosen wingman.